Alright, I was reading the original prologue to one of my books (Read it here: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Alzw4QUDfAA4gdL2opxkXJ_ty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20110130004923AA2OPK0) but I'm not quite sure I like it. So I decided to write an alternate. So here it is. Please tell me which one you like better, and that will be the one I'll use.
Constructive criticism/ tips/ ideas are more than welcome! ^_^
Please ignore any typos =P
The world--it was engulfed. Engulfed in a fire that was burning. Burning everything. An uncontrollable sea of flames, washing the entire world in a flood of crimson. They hungrily stretched out in all directions, consuming everything they touched. The ground, completely desolate, split and fell apart in a desperate attempt to escape the incalescent heat.
All of mankind scrambled helplessly through the growing inferno, praying, screaming for help; for some kind of savior. But it was all in vain. There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. No one to save them.
Death was everywhere. Everyone, everything, was dying.
The putrid stench of terror and burning corpses wrapped its smoky fingers around anything still living, and choked out what life was left. The smoke, quickly running out of life to quench, stretched its foul hands up to the heavens. It climbed and climbed, filling the entire sky, and blocking the view of the strange woman who watched from above.
The woman irritatedly flicked her wrist, creating a small wind which blew away the smoke, allowing her to once again observe the anarchy occurring below.
Why must these people suffer so? She pondered. Because, she answered herself, they have been evil; sinful. They must suffer. They must die. She nodded in consent to this acknowledgment, but then began to think again.
But what if not all of them are evil? What if there is good in some of them, yet they are still being destroyed with the rest? She shook her head at this possibility. Impossible. These people only of evil and sin. There cannot possibly be a decent one among them.
....But I haven't even tried to find such a person....What if there is a righteous person among the evil? What if they have just now been killed, or are to be soon? I cannot simply lay back and allow this to happen. No, I certainly cannot. I must....I must at least try to find a human worthy of living in eternal paradise, as I do now. Yes, yes I must.
She extended her snowy wings and dove, slowing descending down the crumbling earth...
Constructive criticism/ tips/ ideas are more than welcome! ^_^
Please ignore any typos =P
The world--it was engulfed. Engulfed in a fire that was burning. Burning everything. An uncontrollable sea of flames, washing the entire world in a flood of crimson. They hungrily stretched out in all directions, consuming everything they touched. The ground, completely desolate, split and fell apart in a desperate attempt to escape the incalescent heat.
All of mankind scrambled helplessly through the growing inferno, praying, screaming for help; for some kind of savior. But it was all in vain. There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. No one to save them.
Death was everywhere. Everyone, everything, was dying.
The putrid stench of terror and burning corpses wrapped its smoky fingers around anything still living, and choked out what life was left. The smoke, quickly running out of life to quench, stretched its foul hands up to the heavens. It climbed and climbed, filling the entire sky, and blocking the view of the strange woman who watched from above.
The woman irritatedly flicked her wrist, creating a small wind which blew away the smoke, allowing her to once again observe the anarchy occurring below.
Why must these people suffer so? She pondered. Because, she answered herself, they have been evil; sinful. They must suffer. They must die. She nodded in consent to this acknowledgment, but then began to think again.
But what if not all of them are evil? What if there is good in some of them, yet they are still being destroyed with the rest? She shook her head at this possibility. Impossible. These people only of evil and sin. There cannot possibly be a decent one among them.
....But I haven't even tried to find such a person....What if there is a righteous person among the evil? What if they have just now been killed, or are to be soon? I cannot simply lay back and allow this to happen. No, I certainly cannot. I must....I must at least try to find a human worthy of living in eternal paradise, as I do now. Yes, yes I must.
She extended her snowy wings and dove, slowing descending down the crumbling earth...