OK so when they tell me about another person that was horrible to them such as saying things to humiliate them in groups of people like 'but you're the stupid one right', I have shown this person compassion, understanding and been like 'wow what an asshole this guy was to you'. I acknolwedge it. I understand how that can affect a person and I validate their outrage. But, when someone behaves similarly to me, this person excuses them, says I am lieing, says that everyone will do bad things (which is not true. If I care about someone I am not an asshole to them ever). They just generally do not acknolwedge how a certain behaviour towards me is wrong or offensive. If someone calls me an idiot for instance, they will be like 'well that was idiotic'. They side with people that have been unkind to me because they are alright with them. Would I be right in thinking that this person doesn't care about me? Is not on my side? Has double standards? And this is a bad association to keep? I see it as a matter of principle if they tell me about someone that has been horrible to them, to acknowledge the reality of that but my feelings are really discredited in the reverse of the situation. They will find every excuse in the book for the person being nasty.