Am I too old fashioned?

D

Dimitri

New member
Joined
Oct 16, 2008
Messages
29
Reaction score
0
Points
1
First of all, this is my sons account which I am using due to the fact that I do not have one of my own. Last week my 12 year old daughter said she had been invited to a friends pool party. She asked me if she could buy a bikini for to wear to the party and I immediately said no. In my opinion she is too young for any swim wear except a rashie. I told her if she wanted to go she would wear her old rashie he currently uses when she goes swimming. She then yelled that I was being unfair and she said all the other girls would have bikinis or two pieces. I assumed the other girls were lying. She also asked for some new sunglasses but I said she could wear her old plastic ones.She went to the party yesterday with me anyway. When we got their I saw some girls had already arrived and I was shocked to see what they were wearing. Two of the girls wear wearing victorias secret two pieces and the other was wearing a string bikini. I almost gasped and my daughter just glared at me. I walked over to the other parents and we started to talk. As more girls arrived I saw they had two pieces as well and one had some very expensive looking sunglasses. Even my daughters best friend had a two piece. When everyone arrived the parents had a talk while the girls swam. One dad bought up the topic of clothing and said he spent a lot money buying her daughters swim clothes from Victorias secret. I asked him if he thought it was innapropriate and he said he didn't really know. He said his wife allowed her to buy it and he said as long as they were happy with it he didn't really care. Another mum said she thought her daughters two piece was ok and didn't "show much" so she was ok with it. All the parents went inside after that and had something to eat. I saw my daughter by herself a few times outside the window and I was starting to think about my choice. When we went home she said was really embarassed and was never going to a party again. She said one of the girls teased her about her clothes. I said don't pay attention to it but she ran off crying saying I'm not a kid mum why won't you buy me some fucking cool stuff for a change. I still think Rashida are what she should wear at this age but am I wrong? Should she be wearing two pieces at 12.
 
I dont think you are old fashioned just concerned. Yeah I would say she is just too young to be wearing a bikini but I think you need to trust her to fit in with her friends and make the right choice. Let her wear the bikini as long as she is behaved and trust worthy
 
No, you are a good Dad.

I have a 13 year old, and I would not allow a bikini. Too bad, so sad.

As far as her friends are concerned, she needs a better class of friend.

My daughter had a similar issue with a "frenemy" over music and TV. Her frenemy went out of her way to put on things while my daughter was there that we do not allow at our home (Gangsta rap and "The family guy", and "Southpark") My daughter was mad, and told her friend. A big blowup ensued. They are no longer friends. My daughter said, she was hurt because her friend teased her choice of music (She loves Amy Grant, as well as Taylor Swift and Boston...), We had the long talk about what a real friend is, and concluded...this girl was a lousy friend.

So, in a nutshell, if this were my daughter, I would reinforce the bathing suit restrictions, and tell her she needs a better class of friends. Hers are shallow and mean spirited...
Your standards are not what needs changing, her friends are!
 
I think that it's better they wear them young then when they're older and developed! Like come on, 12 that's very young yes. Most 12 year olds wear bakinis- it's ok. Especially at an all-girls pool party. You should advise your daughter to wear some short board shorts with a bakini top which is much more modest.
 
your aren't too old fashioned at all, most of the swim wear (and clothes in general now) are just plain disgusting and are not for anyone let alone a 12 year old.

splashing out on a Victoria's secret swim suit? what is wrong with you parents... its no wonder our kids are growing up like little tarts.

on the other side of things, there are some nice decent 2 piece sets, but you won't find them at places like Victoria's secrets.

i do say your daughter is trying to fit in with the group of people from the party, and was teased for not having the fancy swim wear.

in honest opinions, i don't give a crap what anyone else says...i think you made the right choice but not letting your daughter wear tarty swim wear. ... but in future, maybe you could have a look at some swim wear and maybe find a two piece that's more appropriate.
 
you need to know the stages that your daughter is undergoing now. you have to blend the old and the new so that your daughter would not be embarrassed on the presence of her friends. she has to pass this stage once in her life, you give her the best.
 
A two-piece tankini would be fine. It's basically a tank top swimsuit with panty-like bottoms. You can also get cheap, trendy sunglasses at stores like Forever 21 for about $5-$10.

It's a sad fact of life that she will continue to get teased if she doesn't "look" the right way.
 
Back
Top