anyone got jokes on bragging about yourself?

idoltitle21

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I want couple of jokes like this guy who brags about himself on twitter saying
don't you sleep, bro? SLEEP IS 4 THOSE WHO NEED TO DREAM...I LIVE THE DREAM

As a kid I collected comic books and didn't even read them...now I collect girls' phone numbers and don't even call them

his twitter is http://twitter.com/ZackRyder
so can anyone post a similar jokes to this guy and I will choose the best as the best answer.
 
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