Jun 16, 2025
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Anyone wants to take the time to critique a short introduction I wrote?
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<blockquote data-quote="MreJovial" data-source="post: 2294504" data-attributes="member: 800362"><p>It's for a short-narrative I'm currently writing. </p><p></p><p>The sun was about to set soon, and Victor wanted to avoid finding his way back home at dark. Once the sun sets, the woods degenerate into pure darkness. The singing of the birds die down, and the sounds of unknown creatures reverberate through the nightly, forsaken forest. The high redwood tress block the moon from illuminating light into it, so it’s almost impossible to see a few feet in front of you. Victor had lost track of time hunting for dinner. Now he’s to hurry home in the midst of twilight. Luna had managed to chase down two plumped rabbits for dinner. Victor dumped the dead rabbits into his ragged sack, along with some mushrooms and herbs he had gathered earlier. Victor hurried home, Luna following right behind him. It was just about dusk when he heard the howls. Oh, those uncanny howls, those howls that never fail to run chills down his spine, those howls he dread for they sound unlike any wolves he’s ever heard, but something larger and greater—another reason to avoid walking through the forest at night. </p><p></p><p>Luna is his pet wolf, btw.</p><p>Thanks, Alien Jesus, I might consider adding that into my narrative. Thanks for your input. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /></p><p>Thanks, Summer, you're right on using the wrong tense. I tend to do that a lot. -.-</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="MreJovial, post: 2294504, member: 800362"] It's for a short-narrative I'm currently writing. The sun was about to set soon, and Victor wanted to avoid finding his way back home at dark. Once the sun sets, the woods degenerate into pure darkness. The singing of the birds die down, and the sounds of unknown creatures reverberate through the nightly, forsaken forest. The high redwood tress block the moon from illuminating light into it, so it’s almost impossible to see a few feet in front of you. Victor had lost track of time hunting for dinner. Now he’s to hurry home in the midst of twilight. Luna had managed to chase down two plumped rabbits for dinner. Victor dumped the dead rabbits into his ragged sack, along with some mushrooms and herbs he had gathered earlier. Victor hurried home, Luna following right behind him. It was just about dusk when he heard the howls. Oh, those uncanny howls, those howls that never fail to run chills down his spine, those howls he dread for they sound unlike any wolves he’s ever heard, but something larger and greater—another reason to avoid walking through the forest at night. Luna is his pet wolf, btw. Thanks, Alien Jesus, I might consider adding that into my narrative. Thanks for your input. :) Thanks, Summer, you're right on using the wrong tense. I tend to do that a lot. -.- [/QUOTE]
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