Are my sister and mother being resonable?

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KE2008

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My sister is a 24 yr old grown woman who lives a lifestyle I do not agree with. At first I just disagreed but turned the other cheek until she brought it into my home where I have a baby and it upset my husband. I told her in an email how worried I was about her, never being rude or attacking her I was just SO CONCERNED! Long story short she currently lives in and out of my parents basement and has demanded to my mother that if I want to come over during the day (my dryer is broken and they have a big yard, dogs nice change of scenery) that I first check with my mom who then has to check with her to make sure she isn't there. Is this not bizzare and ridiculous since she is a grown woman?! Today I thought she was not there and came to pick up a bouncy seat I'd left at my moms- she FREAKED OUT and demanded I leave saying it was her home get out etc etc... Is my mother right to allow her to act like this?? What do I do?? At first I felt so sorry for her I just respected her bc I wanted her to feel happy and comfortable somewhere...but seriously isn't this getting a little RIDICULOUS!?

Here is the link to my question I asked a few months ago about my sisters behavior/lifestyle if it helps..http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Anui3AW3Sg.peRVSGVvXJvHty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090119110123AAWRR2n
 
Of course it's not reasonable and by asking that question it seems like you know that. But what can you do? I think by abiding by these rules you're giving in to her power over your mom. I would tell your mom that this is ridiculous and that you're not going to participate. Stop going to your mom's house. Dry your clothes outside on a line, at the laundromat or buy a new dryer (used on craigslist is easily affordable). Your mom will miss seeing you and will give your sister less power.
 
Ok since your sister is living in the basement with the dryer then YES you need to make sure she's not home or that she's ok with you coming cause she might have company down there. You'd be even more furious to walk in on that going on now wouldn't you. Who cares that its the moms house? Its not your house so stop worrying about your mom letting her act like that. If you don't like it there will be continued conflict or go to somebody else house to use the dryer or to a washeteria. Plus those things r really loud and I hate being home or even near ours when its on so I feel your sisters pain! Respect their house doesn't matter how old they are. They are ok with the arrangements you don't have to be b/c you don't live there!

Don't apologize, just next time take the extra precautions to make sure your sister is not home when you do dry the clothes!
 
You are in a position that many family members find themselves, when a member of the family, suffers from a chemical imbalance ( from whatever cause ).

The problematic family member, could very well be suffering from Bipolar Disorder - Moods range from Frantic Energy to Severe Depression.

And trying to self medicate / Booze / Drugs etc.

She needs to be under a doctors care, until a livable balance can be reached and maintained.

There is nothing that you can do other than protect your own family. and offer as much support as possible. ( Not Enabling Support ).

Your poor Mother can do nothing, other than support her daughter, and try to urge her to seek professional help. Your Mother and yourself, should seek professional help, in learning how to cope within this type of situation.

Always Remember, that A mother / starts as a child / Sister / Daughter / Schoolgirl / Girlfriend / Wife / Worker.

All of these things have a life and an ending BUT

" A MOTHER IS A MOTHER UNTIL THE END OF HER LIFE "
 
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