are you supposed to seriously discuss a marriage or is he just supposed to...

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dior

Member
...'pop the question'? i know its way more romantic for him to make it a suprise but do you want a romanitc wedding/engagement/proposal, or do you want a lasting marriage with the person you love?
like if you are in a serious relationship, is it better to discuss marriage and related expectations or is he supposed to like suprise you one day with a wedding ring? Which situation facilitates beter chances of a long lasting marriage?
 
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LouiseC

New member
I think if you have been in a steady relationship with a man for a while and you are hoping he wants to marry you but he hasn't shown any sign of proposing, then it might be a good idea to start a general conversation about how he feels about marriage, children, etc. that will give you some idea of whether he is that interested in you.

What I think is not advisable is to move in with him if he has not expressed any definite desire to marry you. He may think that living together is just as good as marriage, or preferable t omarriage, and he may not see living together as leading to matrimony. I would never assume that the one leads to the other.
 
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Ashera1

New member
You both need to talk about it before hand. It's not a decision to be taken lightly. You need to have discussed where you will live, your feelings about children, how you will both work/go to school, ect... I know if my boyfriend popped the question with no warning, I would definitely refuse until we had a long serious discussion.
 
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Dancingzombiez

New member
Since relationships are best functional through communication, it is most likely best to discuss it first. One person may not be ready for that step yet. But once discussions are over, there's no one saying he can't pop the question when she least expects it.
 
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RioMadeira

New member
It would be best if you discussed the future of your relationship naturally and let the actual proposal come after that. This sets the scene.
 
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Gambit

Member
Well first and foremost your gonna have to find out how feels about marriage and perhaps getting married.

If you get a positive response, then discuss it. And who knows maybe he might even surprise you with a ring.

If the response is negative, then I'd perhaps save it for another time. Don't rush it...men especially can be oversensitive about this whole marriage thing.
 
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kath1

Member
I'd rather they just 'pop the question' but discussion would be best. He might no even know what you want, and it would probably upset you. And if you're just waiting but he isn't ready, if you discussed you'd at least know.
 
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ProfessorC

New member
You should have discussions - lots of discussions about what your expectations of marriage are.

There is this group of people who think that you should have a 'courtship'- the relationship starts with the proposal and you are essentially marrying someone you don't know. You can't hold hands until you are engaged. The first kiss is at your wedding.
 
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BlueberryHead1

New member
I think it should be discussed and agreed upon not sprung upon either party. I guess a surprise sproposal would be nice but at least there should be a long relationship history where it's come up. I think it's a bit weird if not, like it's not a joint decision which it shoudl be
 
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Gina

Member
Talk about it first to make sure you're on the same page and want the same things. Otherwise you're going into it blind, not an equation for lasting marriage.
 
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