Band review in need of criticism!?

[Addictedtotheshindig]

I am 13 and writing for a zine. I review local acts, albums, and music. My first review is due tomorrow morning:

REVIEW: The Informal Gentlemen

* *This alternative rock band from tiny Spanaway, Washington *recently caught my attention after looking up Weezer covers online, and they DEFINITELY have more potential than they think.*

Composed of Johnny Collazo on vocals and rhythm guitar,*Caleb Burr on lead Guitar back up vocals,*Randy Burr on bass, and Joey Carlisle on drums, the band draws influences from acts such as Nirvana, Weezer, and Hall and Oates.*

When asked about how he feels about his music and his purpose to making it, Johnny's answer is simple:
* *"Some people express themselves through graffiti or painting. We express our feelings through music. "



They are currently signed onto Uncle Roy's Music, as well as recently booking shows with well known metal act Being As An Ocean. As of right now, a few songs are released online, and on their Facebook page, but no known album release date is announced yet.*

Keep an eye out for these guys, I smell instant success with these guys!

Recommended tracks: Cold Dish, Let It Rain, Ex- Hero

Almost all songs can either be found on their Soundcloud and YouTube accounts!

Is this okay, should I add more info? I'm in a bit of a rush

 

[JF96]

Hi,

"...they DEFINITELY have more potential than they think" is a patronizing remark, as well as being odd and out of place. How do you know they don't think they're the next Beatles?

The second paragraph is ok.

And the third.

The rest seems disjointed: a random collection of miscellaneous sentences. "Keep an eye on these guys. I smell instant success with these guys!" is obviously a problem.

Overall, it seems too raw. All you've said is that they're pretty good. As a music reviewer, you need to say WHY they're good; describe their sound - is it a melancholic sound, a cheerful sound? What is their music about?


Good luck