Best friend planned her bachelorette at the same time as my yearly...

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Sasha

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...vacation...what should I do? This is my dilemma................

My best friend asked me to be one of her bridesmaids for her wedding thats not until July 28th of next year. She wants her bachelorette party in July in New York. Im all game for that except she picked the exact dates that me and my husband take our yearly vacation (on July 14th - 17th)...and she knows this! I reminded her the days she picked I wont be around and if its possible to do the weekend/week before or after and she said Im sorry but those are the dates that I want. I find it kind of rude that she asked me to be a bridesmaid but chose the dates for her bachelorette party on the only dates that I wont be here (and she knows those are our vacation days every year). I even told her that its not like I was telling her a month beforehand, I gave her like 7 or 8 months notice. She still wont change her mind.

Now Im left with a pissed off husband and she left me really pissed off too. I cant back out because all the bridesmaids are going (including her older sister who is the Maid of Honor) but I dont want to give up my yearly vacation either (this is a pre-planned vacation and I cant change the dates). Am I wrong to be annoyed? What should I do?
 
This may just be me, but you aren't required to go to a bachelorette party even though you are a bridesmaids. It might be expected, but if it was me and i knew that one of my BM had plans that time I wouldn't hold it to them to come. Just go on your vaction, she knew.
 
OK, first of all, the bride doesn't plan her own bachelorette party! Come on, everyone knows that! Your friend needs an etiquette book, STAT!

You're not obligated to attend this party by any means. Just because you're in the wedding, doesn't mean you have to go.

You say you, "cant back out because all the bridesmaids are going." Nope, that's not true. Of course you can "back out," though it isn't about backing out. It's about not ACCEPTING an invitation to a party occurring during a time you're unavailable. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Nothing at all.

You're looking at this whole thing backwards. You're not obligated to attend and you're not free on that date. So just say no.
 
I totally agree with your husband on this! A bachelorette party is not that important. As long as you can make it to the wedding, THAT's what's important. I don't think you should cancel your vacation to be at a silly bachelorette party! Do not ruin your and your husband's long-planned out vacation for this party! Also, you told her about your plans well in advance, so it's her loss that she planned this party during your vacation time. Your relationship with your husband trumps your relationship with her.
 
So don't go to the bachelorette party.

She knew that you had prior commitments on those dates and she decided on those dates anyway. By doing this, she knowingly and willingly risked you not being able to attend. If she really wanted you there, she would have chosen another date.
 
Enjoy your vacation.

This isn't really a big deal. You can't make it to the bachelorette, so long as you can make it for the wedding, you're good.

If you cancel your vacation, then the only one you and your husband have to be mad at is YOU.
 
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