Boyfriend has a daughter, but not allowed to see her... Now I want a child,

[chiquita]

but he won't even discuss it? My boyfriend is 7 years older than me, and he has a 10 year old daughter from a previous relationship. The woman was married, but lied and said she was getting divorced. When she got pregnant, she went back to her husband, and my now boyfriend was never allowed to be in the child's life. Its hard to fight for any custody, since she is married and the husband signed the birth certificate, even though he knew he wasn't the father. I was previously married, and do not see marriage as something that necessarily guarantees that two people will stay together, but he refuses to even talk about having a child with me until we are married, I think only because he is afraid that the same thing could happen again with him not having custody if something were ever to happen between us.
Also, I have had problems with endometriosis as well as abnormal tissue having to be removed from my cervix, and have been told that I may have a hard time conceiving. Although I'm not even over 30 yet, I am afraid that by the time we get engaged, plan a wedding, decide to have children, and finally conceive, I will barely have time to have one child if I am lucky before I have to deal with even more issues of conceiving with advancing age...
I've tried to discuss it with him, and his "time line" goes faster than mine with us being married, etc, but I don't think he is realizing how long planning a wedding and conceiving a child may actually take. He refuses to budge on the fact that he wants to be married first, and I sort of see it as hurtful because he is not allowing me to have what I want because of what this other woman did, and I feel that I am the one being punished.
Do I try to talk to him more about this, or just hang in there and wait until we are married and hope for the best?

 

[Babybowman]

No matter your age, you need to be married before you have a child with someone, no it doesn't promise that you will be together forever, but it's a start at least a start. I know what it's like to see a child go through that, how would you like to have to pick between your parents all of the time ? Whose house you wanted to wake up at at christmas time, who you wanted to be with on thanksgiving ? All of this stuff comes into play and its not you that suffers, it's the child.

 

[XXXXXXXXXXX]

Think about what a child needs rather than what you want. This guy wants to be married first in a committed union. Good for him. You should appreciate this.