Alright, here I go. I know this isn't an ideal place to do this but my family is tired of hearing about it. Maybe someone else is having or had a similar situation. I really want to breastfeed. I have an almost 2 year old daughter who I bf until 14 months. It was a good experience for the both of us. I enjoyed it and only quit because she stopped. I have a 3 1/2 month old daughter now who has been bf but we have struggled the whole time. I finally have given in to pumping and bottle feeding during the day and nursing during the night and evening. I said I'd never do this but I'm at a point where I need to do formula or pump. I still want my daughter to get my good breast milk but my nipples are very sore. We have tried everything I and my 2 lactation consultants can think of to correct the problem. We have had problems from birth. As it is I only use the right side. We gave up the left a while ago because she didn't want that side/position. Just using the right was better than the long struggle it took to latch her on the left. We were both unhappy. Now, she doesn't latch well. She has a shallow latch and it kills me. I want it to get better really bad but can't find a solution. I've tried different positions, nipple shields, nursing pillows, watched videos, done research online, I have 2 lactation consultants. So here I am having such a strong desire to nurse but having a lot of pain when I do. I didn't realize how lucky I was to have my other daughter latch and nurse so easily. I think of all the moms who chose not to bf and are fine with their decision and their babies are fine, but then I think of me. I am one of the few (according to my lc's) who really want to and am having such troubles. But it is what it is. I have been using Tommee Tippee bottles (borrowed from my SIL) and she takes them ok. The problem is she only eats 2-3 ounces every 3 or so hours. I nurse her before bed and whenever she wakes in the night, which was previously only once but last night was 3 times. Has anyone else successfully bottle and breastfed? Do you think she'll get used to the bottles and start to drink more at a time and sleep through the night again? Please don't judge me on the bottle feeding part (btw, she gets 1 bottle of formula too) I have judged myself harshly already. This is the best I can do. I worry that I'm a bad mom for doing this to her, but at the same time I realize that I can't suffer and still be an effective mother either. Thanks for listening (I know it's really long) and I'm glad I have a place to vent where maybe someone knows where I'm coming from.
Breastfeeding - need to vent?
- Thread starter Shanna
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i had a frustrating experience with breastfeeding too, you're pumping which is great some breast milk is better than none, i pumped for my son (5.5 week early didn't latch well) for 4 months while supplementing with formula, i figured it was better that we both enjoy the feeding rather than being frustrated, she probably will drink more at a time soon , dont feel bad you're doing great,
TheNaturalMommy
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- Dec 26, 2008
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Wow! I'm sorry 
Don't feel like a bad mom. You are trying your hardest. Sometimes things just don't work the way we want, but you did your damnedest!
Don't feel like a bad mom. You are trying your hardest. Sometimes things just don't work the way we want, but you did your damnedest!
U
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I have two children, one bf and one i didnt. you are like me and stress and obsess too much. so i will tell you like my husband would tell me... just do formula!!!!!you have tried everything and maybe its time to accept the fact that its not going to work. my formula baby is now 14 and very healthy! it will be okay!
I totally get where you are coming from. I have two kiddos (son, 9 yrs and daughter, 7 mos). I started out bf my son but he got nipple confusion when he was a month old and could no longer suck correctly when bf. I tried pumping but just couldn't get enough out and eventually it dried up No worries, though, because he's healthy, the youngest in his class and also ahead of everyone in his academics, as well as a soccer star. 
Formula did well for him. My daughter I also started out bf. But, her colic proved to be more than I could handle and at 6 weeks I had to stop and put her on formula (and then specialized formula). She was feeding well, but then screaming the rest of the time. No sleep, no peace. I kept trying thinking "it won't last forever", but at the same time, it wasn't good for her to be so unhappy either. I wanted to keep bf her, but in the long run, this (expensive, ugh) formula has made her a healthy and very happy baby. Formulas have come a long way and even now are having the same or similar content as breast milk; it's the closest thing they've ever made. It's made for people like us. We want to bf, but we can't. In the long run, we have to look at what's best for our little ones. If your baby is having a hard time nursing, as are you, then finding the right bottles and formula are what you need to do. Being a good mom doesn't mean bf, it means doing what's best for your baby. No one will judge you for bottle-feeding, whether breastmilk or formula, and you'll have a happier baby. (FYI, we use Avent bottles we got from my stepsister and they seem to work well. I used the regular cheap ones with my son and they worked fine for him)
You're a GREAT mom! For trying your best and for reaching out to others for ideas, and by choosing what's best for your baby
No worries, though, because he's healthy, the youngest in his class and also ahead of everyone in his academics, as well as a soccer star. Formula did well for him. My daughter I also started out bf. But, her colic proved to be more than I could handle and at 6 weeks I had to stop and put her on formula (and then specialized formula). She was feeding well, but then screaming the rest of the time. No sleep, no peace. I kept trying thinking "it won't last forever", but at the same time, it wasn't good for her to be so unhappy either. I wanted to keep bf her, but in the long run, this (expensive, ugh) formula has made her a healthy and very happy baby. Formulas have come a long way and even now are having the same or similar content as breast milk; it's the closest thing they've ever made. It's made for people like us. We want to bf, but we can't. In the long run, we have to look at what's best for our little ones. If your baby is having a hard time nursing, as are you, then finding the right bottles and formula are what you need to do. Being a good mom doesn't mean bf, it means doing what's best for your baby. No one will judge you for bottle-feeding, whether breastmilk or formula, and you'll have a happier baby. (FYI, we use Avent bottles we got from my stepsister and they seem to work well. I used the regular cheap ones with my son and they worked fine for him)You're a GREAT mom! For trying your best and for reaching out to others for ideas, and by choosing what's best for your baby
Don't be so hard on yourself. There are lots of women in the world who have difficulty breastfeeding for whatever reason. That's no reason to beat yourself up, especially when the attempt is already causing you so much pain and frustration. Millions of people have been formula fed and are still alive and healthy. I know working moms who pump and some who use formula when the baby is at daycare and breastfeed at home. None of their babies are suffering, I can assure you. And isn't it better to allow yourself to know that your daughter is getting all the nutrition she needs than to worry about whether you're producing enough and maybe even resenting her for the difficulty you're both facing? As long as she's eating, you really shouldn't worry.
CarbonDated
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- Nov 2, 2011
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I am sure there is a solution, but stop beating yourself up. If you need to turn to pumping or formula, it's not as though you didn't try as much as possible to resolve the problem. It's possible your daughter has a structure deformity in her jaw which makes her not want to nurse on one side. Not something you may have any control over.
tamarakmherfamily
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- Nov 30, 2011
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My daughter was combination fed for the first couple of months, until my nipples 'toughened up' for her. The reasons she got bottles were quite different to yours- she had a perfect latch but a VERY aggressive suck and it HURT!
We got her issues sorted out and by 5 months she was back to exclusive breastfeeding. Try your best, if you get the latch issues sorted out then great! But if not and you do go exclusive bottle, only the crazies will judge you for it. The rest of us who have kids will understand.
We got her issues sorted out and by 5 months she was back to exclusive breastfeeding. Try your best, if you get the latch issues sorted out then great! But if not and you do go exclusive bottle, only the crazies will judge you for it. The rest of us who have kids will understand.
I went through a very, very similar situation. And I was able to get my son back on the breast. I had production issues, so bought a supplemental nursing system. Also, for the sore nipples, I used nipple shields. You can buy them at Target and they work great. Also, the gel pads to soothe the pain.
I also got my Dr. to prescribe a special cream. It is called "Triple nipple cream". It is made and mixed fresh and is better than lanolin only based creams. Because no joke, my son literally took off of half the tip of my nipple and it was soooo painful.
I notice when I started back on the breast, when I nursed in the middle of the night or when he was half asleep, he had an easier time latching. My son had latch issues and it was causing the pain.
I have breast and bottle-fed and it is hard, but once you get over the humps it gets easier. I felt very guilty too, and had such a hard time and blamed myself. But you do your best and just know you tried and that no matter what, your child is going to be healthy either way.
My son was breast and bottle, and has gotten sick a grand total of 3 times since birth. He is 2 1/2 now. He has no allergies, or other health issues and is in perfect health.
Rest assured, your daughter will not be hurt or traumatized by this, and I know your guilt is hard, but she will be fine!
I also got my Dr. to prescribe a special cream. It is called "Triple nipple cream". It is made and mixed fresh and is better than lanolin only based creams. Because no joke, my son literally took off of half the tip of my nipple and it was soooo painful.
I notice when I started back on the breast, when I nursed in the middle of the night or when he was half asleep, he had an easier time latching. My son had latch issues and it was causing the pain.
I have breast and bottle-fed and it is hard, but once you get over the humps it gets easier. I felt very guilty too, and had such a hard time and blamed myself. But you do your best and just know you tried and that no matter what, your child is going to be healthy either way.
My son was breast and bottle, and has gotten sick a grand total of 3 times since birth. He is 2 1/2 now. He has no allergies, or other health issues and is in perfect health.
Rest assured, your daughter will not be hurt or traumatized by this, and I know your guilt is hard, but she will be fine!