Can I be so numb to the fact of sex that I cant orgasm?

[SarahSukih]

I have been told that I am very indecisive person. I do not care about much or have that many opinions. I am normally numb to my emotions and to pain. I just live life as it is and don't let the little things bother me. But over the past year or so I started to masturbate and I have yet to orgasm (so I think). I have also had a boyfriend who I have played around with and had sex once and have yet to orgasm. When I have had sex, played around with self, and had boyfriend play around, it felt really good and made me be able to relax and peaceful but nothing like the best feeling ever. I know people are like believe me you know if you have or haven't. But can my indecisiveness, lack of caring, and interest be why I don't/cant orgasm? Or can it be that because I am the way I am, that the feeling I feel is an orgasm but don't believe it is cause I don't believe it is this huge sensation or as big of a thing that people hype it to be? Any help or counseling would be appreciated. Thank you