snuggledoodle
New member
- Mar 17, 2010
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I wrote this because I was stressed and needed a vent. The style of writing is just how it came out.
I would love some critical feedback on how it reads, and if you have any suggestions to make it more viable for publishing, and what publication might be interested in such a piece
Never haven fallen in love, I don’t really know what it feels like, what it should feel like, but I know that I want to. An innate attraction, a desire; I am not sure if such an natural feeling is suppressed with in, or am I never going to experience it. With all the pop teen movies, I feel like I’m behind. Everyone seems to fall in love in some coming of age big Romeo and Juliet summer drama. Never been kissed? But what if I never wanted to be kissed?
I know I am not unpleasant looking. At 5”5 always in 4” heels, I am overpowering – my personality and my being. My naturally highlighted blond hair is always big, my eyes always blue (though the shade might change), and a slightly bulbous nose always sits in the middle of my face. Not particularly ugly nor particularly beautiful, in my mind, I seem stand out in a crowd for no particular reason. If someone seems to be interested, I intimidate them by being my whole self, at times, even a little bit mean, when I’m normally nothing but sweet. If they are still interested, I never know why. When a good looking guy asks me out, I think it’s a joke – I say no because I must be on some reality punk’d show, and I’m being laughed at.
My friend’s dad passed away. Three years ago. I haven’t seen my father in nine years. Well, that’s not true, I have seen him. In my nightmares. After he hurt me, I cant bare to see him, speak of him, or even think of him. But is it wrong to wish that my dad could have died instead. My friend has embodied his dad’s persona, yet I try to erase all mannerisms and tendencies that nature had given me that are similar to his. I would give all of myself to take away my dad and give my friend his dad back. Now I am safe, but it pains me to know that such goodness was taken away, while evil is still out there.
I seem encompass all the stereotypes that a women should be, yet that’s not who I am; not completely. I am everything. I am an anomaly. Hiking, art, R&B and pearls, I am really like no other. But they like me because I cook, because I am sweet, or because I am fun, but I want to be loved for all that and because I am intelligent, ambitious, generous, and because I am passionate about everything.
Father issues, or just more picky. I don’t fall for the romantic movies. “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” Does that intense attraction really exist? I have been liked, I haven’t liked, not really liked, not loved liked. Never have I been wanted for why I wanted to be wanted.
Is it fear; did it just not happen for me yet? No crush yet, no, my love for now, is myself. And when I meet a guy who loves me for the reasons I love me, then I can love him. My third act will be played off stage.
I would love some critical feedback on how it reads, and if you have any suggestions to make it more viable for publishing, and what publication might be interested in such a piece
Never haven fallen in love, I don’t really know what it feels like, what it should feel like, but I know that I want to. An innate attraction, a desire; I am not sure if such an natural feeling is suppressed with in, or am I never going to experience it. With all the pop teen movies, I feel like I’m behind. Everyone seems to fall in love in some coming of age big Romeo and Juliet summer drama. Never been kissed? But what if I never wanted to be kissed?
I know I am not unpleasant looking. At 5”5 always in 4” heels, I am overpowering – my personality and my being. My naturally highlighted blond hair is always big, my eyes always blue (though the shade might change), and a slightly bulbous nose always sits in the middle of my face. Not particularly ugly nor particularly beautiful, in my mind, I seem stand out in a crowd for no particular reason. If someone seems to be interested, I intimidate them by being my whole self, at times, even a little bit mean, when I’m normally nothing but sweet. If they are still interested, I never know why. When a good looking guy asks me out, I think it’s a joke – I say no because I must be on some reality punk’d show, and I’m being laughed at.
My friend’s dad passed away. Three years ago. I haven’t seen my father in nine years. Well, that’s not true, I have seen him. In my nightmares. After he hurt me, I cant bare to see him, speak of him, or even think of him. But is it wrong to wish that my dad could have died instead. My friend has embodied his dad’s persona, yet I try to erase all mannerisms and tendencies that nature had given me that are similar to his. I would give all of myself to take away my dad and give my friend his dad back. Now I am safe, but it pains me to know that such goodness was taken away, while evil is still out there.
I seem encompass all the stereotypes that a women should be, yet that’s not who I am; not completely. I am everything. I am an anomaly. Hiking, art, R&B and pearls, I am really like no other. But they like me because I cook, because I am sweet, or because I am fun, but I want to be loved for all that and because I am intelligent, ambitious, generous, and because I am passionate about everything.
Father issues, or just more picky. I don’t fall for the romantic movies. “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” Does that intense attraction really exist? I have been liked, I haven’t liked, not really liked, not loved liked. Never have I been wanted for why I wanted to be wanted.
Is it fear; did it just not happen for me yet? No crush yet, no, my love for now, is myself. And when I meet a guy who loves me for the reasons I love me, then I can love him. My third act will be played off stage.