foreverdream23
New member
- May 12, 2010
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don't just say you're gay lol? So I'm a girl and it started in 5th grade. There was this teacher, who was my field hockey coach. I dunno why..i mean i didn't have any attraction to her or any sexual feelings toward her but i always wanted to come across as cool and mysterious toward this teacher. I would always think about her and sometimes purposely walk across her classroom so i can put up my ""cool mysterious girl"" front. when i think back at it i DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH.
then fast forward to 8th grade there was this girl who was very popular. I would always feel my behavior change when she came into the room and i would put up this ""cool, mysterious,"" girl front on again..i found myself looking in her direction a lot but not because i was attracted to her but my focus was on her.
Then highschool came. And there was this athletic girl who might possibly be a lesbian. I was obsessed with her..but i was not attracted to her sexually or was never aroused by her. But i would have daydreams constantly about me looking super cool in front of her or making super funny jokes and she would always be a witness. When she actually did talk to me my face would turn bright red and my eyes would water and i was extremely awkward and couldn't look her in the face.
I'm not sexually attracted to girls and i don't become aroused by them. So why through out my life have i always created this silent dialogue between myself and another girl or teacher? What's your prognosis? have you ever done anything like this before?
i've never been an attention getter but i think it IS safe to say i was infatuated with these people. I'm just not sure if it's because i WAS in fact attracted to them and did not realize it or what
i don't think i was competing with them..i do think there was something about them i liked..
then fast forward to 8th grade there was this girl who was very popular. I would always feel my behavior change when she came into the room and i would put up this ""cool, mysterious,"" girl front on again..i found myself looking in her direction a lot but not because i was attracted to her but my focus was on her.
Then highschool came. And there was this athletic girl who might possibly be a lesbian. I was obsessed with her..but i was not attracted to her sexually or was never aroused by her. But i would have daydreams constantly about me looking super cool in front of her or making super funny jokes and she would always be a witness. When she actually did talk to me my face would turn bright red and my eyes would water and i was extremely awkward and couldn't look her in the face.
I'm not sexually attracted to girls and i don't become aroused by them. So why through out my life have i always created this silent dialogue between myself and another girl or teacher? What's your prognosis? have you ever done anything like this before?
i've never been an attention getter but i think it IS safe to say i was infatuated with these people. I'm just not sure if it's because i WAS in fact attracted to them and did not realize it or what
i don't think i was competing with them..i do think there was something about them i liked..