Can someone please edit my essay for social work? Is this an attention...

KarieW

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...grabbing introduction for the reader? I am applying to the Master's in Social Work program because I want to help others maximize their potential and steer their lives in a positive direction. I am concerned with the needs of everyone in my community, but I am passionate about helping our most vulnerable individuals; specifically our troubled and neglected youth. I want to become a social worker so I can help my young neighbors in impoverished communities change their lives for the better.

I am a thirty four year-old woman with a history that includes an unstable home life, teen pregnancy, and a period of homelessness. I have emerged from that downward spiral and put my life on a more positive track. Sometimes, situations in life can be challenging, but you can survive those situations and get through them and come out a stronger person because of those situations. I understand the despair and frustration to those who find coping with everyday life difficult. Developing a sense of one's own power can make the difference between despondency or one filled with hope.

I didn't turn my life around by myself. I had help and because others helped me, I want to be that help for others. I want to use the knowledge and understanding I have gained to assist people in changing their lives for the better. I believe education is the key to being able to do that. Specifically, a Master's degree in Social Work would give me the greatest advantage in achieving my goal. It was a social worker on Skid Row Los Angeles who started me on the path toward healing my own life. She provided me with the constant support and a sense of hope. She encouraged me to resolve my conflict with my mother and return home. When I moved back home, I made a sincere effort to repair my relationship with my mother. Six months later, I found a job as a youth counselor, working with adolescents who had stories similar to mine. The seed planted to pursue a career in helping young people during the time I worked at Harbor View Adolescent Center, a level- 14 group home facility.

In my job as a youth counselor, my primary work responsibility was to serve as a positive role model for adolescents aged twelve to eighteen. The residents had backgrounds of being homeless and victims of physical and sexual abuse. Some of them were also dealing with drug and alcohol abuse, depression, and the criminal justice system. At times, my job was extremely stressful. But I discovered that I had the ability to connect with the adolescents and develop strong emotional ties with them. I focused on helping them with their social skills, coping skills, and independent living skills. My main goal was to help them build their self-esteem and improve their sense of security. As a youth counselor, I learned the value of listening to adolescents in order to be able to guide them in making positive decisions that improve the quality of their lives.

The guiding principle of my life is that each of us has a duty to help serve others, to seek out marginalized and less fortunate individuals of our communities . I have always lived by the motto "do unto others as you would have done to you", and feel that the best way to do this is by furthering the ideal of social justice in the way I live and work. Social justice, as I see it, is the value system that recognizes the inherent worth and dignity of every human being and the right of everyone to be treated fairly and with respect. I believe that every individual is worthy of dignity and respect and have the ability to become self-sufficient to make their own choices for themselves. When we as society try to see the world through the eyes of the less fortunate, we can empathize with and understand one another instead of focusing on our differences. Only when every individual of a community is afforded the same level of dignity and respect can a society truly be called civilized. Those who cannot demand social justice for themselves must have a voice to demand it for them. It is my hope that by earning a Master's degree in Social Work I can be that voice.
 
I am applying to the Master's in Social Work program because I want to help others maximize their potential and steer their lives in a positive direction. I am concerned with the needs of everyone in my community and I am passionate about helping our most vulnerable individuals, [misuse of semicolon] specifically our troubled and neglected youth. As a social worker, I believe I'd be able to help my young neighbors in impoverished communities change their lives for the better.

I am a thirty-four-year-old woman who has personally experienced an unstable home life, teen pregnancy, and a period of homelessness. I have escaped from that downward spiral and put my life on a {cut: more} positive track. Sometimes (cut) life can be challenging, but if you are able to persevere, you can come out a stronger person because of those situations. I understand the despair and frustration to those who find coping with everyday life difficult. Developing a sense of one's own power can make the difference between despondency or one filled with hope.

I didn't turn my life around by myself. I had help and because others helped me, I am uniquely motivated to provide that help for others. I want to use the knowledge and understanding I have gained to assist people in changing their lives for the better. I believe education is the key to being best able to help. Specifically, a Master's degree in Social Work would put me in the greatest position for achieving my goal. It was a social worker on Skid Row Los Angeles who started me on the path toward healing my own life. She provided me with the constant support and a sense of hope. She encouraged me to resolve my conflict with my mother and return home. When I moved back home, I made a sincere effort to repair my relationship with my mother. Six months later, I found a job as a youth counselor, working with adolescents who had stories similar to mine. The seed planted to pursue a career in helping young people during the time I worked at Harbor View Adolescent Center, a level-fourteen group home facility.

In my job as a youth counselor, my primary work responsibility was to serve as a positive role model for adolescents aged twelve to eighteen. The residents backgrounds included being homeless and being victims of physical and sexual abuse. Some of them were also dealing with drug and alcohol abuse, depression, and the criminal justice system. At times, my job was extremely stressful. But I discovered that I had the ability to connect with the adolescents and develop strong emotional ties with them. I focused on helping them with their social skills, coping skills, and independent living skills. My main goal was to help them build their self-esteem and improve their sense of security. As a youth counselor, I learned the value of listening to adolescents in order to be able to guide them in making positive decisions that improve the quality of their lives.

The guiding principle of my life is that each of us has a duty to help serve others, to seek out marginalized and less fortunate individuals of our communities . I have always lived by the motto "do unto others as you would have done to you", and feel that the best way to do this is by furthering the ideal of social justice in the way I live and work. Social justice, as I see it, is the value system that recognizes the inherent worth and dignity of every human being and the right of everyone to be treated fairly and with respect. I believe that every individual is worthy of dignity and respect and has the ability to become self-sufficient to make their own choices for themselves. When we, as a society, try to see the world through the eyes of the less fortunate, we gain empathy and understanding instead of focusing on our differences. Only when every individual of a community is afforded the same level of dignity and respect can a society truly be called civilized. Those who cannot demand social justice for themselves need a voice to demand it for them. It is my hope that by earning my Master's Degree in Social Work, I can be one of those voices.
 
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