Jun 16, 2025
Оfftopic Community
Оfftopic Community
Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
Featured content
New posts
New media
New media comments
New resources
New profile posts
Latest activity
Media
New media
New comments
Search media
Resources
Latest reviews
Search resources
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Technology
Beyond Reality
Can you review my book concept? (Sci-fi with focus on human emotions)?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="brian" data-source="post: 2023066" data-attributes="member: 209649"><p>I used to make video games and this was one, however, it got rejected from some flash sponsors for involving suicide. I decided to write the story as a book instead. I am just starting.</p><p></p><p>I'm only 15 and barely read and write, so I might not be the most creative person... But I try! <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f600.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":D" title="Big grin :D" data-smilie="8"data-shortname=":D" /></p><p></p><p>---</p><p>A peaceful and idealist alien race comes down and oppresses humanity to try and get them to "calm their emotions." People including two protagonists (Glenn and Jonathan) escape with the help of an outside society. A group of rebels is forming in great strides but due to the harsh conditions the aliens placed on them, they arn't nescessarily rational. They raid the aliens to discover they worship a god and they try to maintain as much peace as possible. The humans get a slight emotional lapse (Very complicated) and decide to attack the aliens. They go through the city, slaughtering them all, but the aliens do not defend themselves. At the top of their governmental buildings a priest finally reveals their only intention was to aid the humans in sealing their emotions (Accomplished with PURE peace, without hatred, racism, ect) , which they did. Without anger, bravery, or selfishness they could not defend themselves and also failed to comprehend barbaric violence. However the peace is now disrupted as the aliens including the priest commit suicide and start going insane. The remaining aliens leave and it is hinted that they will destroy themselves through civil war.</p><p></p><p>The protagonists and resistance move to jerusalem for symbolic purposes, because it's the heart of human religious culture, and it's a place where selfishness was at it's peak, being conquered/reconquered over 20 times in history. They create a society emulating the aliens. The book ends with a kid (8 year old) being bullied at school, but not defending himself in anger. The teacher intervenes and takes him to somewhere unknown. The end.</p><p>---</p><p></p><p>Characters: (All protagonists, the focus shifts between them)</p><p></p><p>Glenn: Once a calm child after being detained he wallowed in misery and hatred and became a savage killing machine once he escaped. The leader of the alien massacre.</p><p></p><p>Jonathan: A placid teenager who decides that pacifism is the best way to resolve conflict however is stopped several times by the savages.</p><p></p><p>Miguel: A physicist that lived away from society when the aliens invaded, he organized the human rebellion against alien control. He has problems controlling the humans and reasoning between Glenn and Jonathan. </p><p></p><p>Please tell me if it at least sounds like a decent concept, I'm stressed out!</p><p>The symbolism is huge.</p><p></p><p>The aliens represent what could have been humanity, one of the shockers you find 1/3rd through is that they're structually similar to humans, rather, they have evolved.</p><p></p><p>Glenn represents evil, malice, and greed.</p><p>Jonathan represents compassion</p><p>And Miguel represents tolerance and balance.</p><p>@answerer</p><p></p><p>They're very religious, almost like a cult. They want the humans to conform and join them, since they're technically humans who have already suppressed emotion. It also follows their religious teachings.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="brian, post: 2023066, member: 209649"] I used to make video games and this was one, however, it got rejected from some flash sponsors for involving suicide. I decided to write the story as a book instead. I am just starting. I'm only 15 and barely read and write, so I might not be the most creative person... But I try! :D --- A peaceful and idealist alien race comes down and oppresses humanity to try and get them to "calm their emotions." People including two protagonists (Glenn and Jonathan) escape with the help of an outside society. A group of rebels is forming in great strides but due to the harsh conditions the aliens placed on them, they arn't nescessarily rational. They raid the aliens to discover they worship a god and they try to maintain as much peace as possible. The humans get a slight emotional lapse (Very complicated) and decide to attack the aliens. They go through the city, slaughtering them all, but the aliens do not defend themselves. At the top of their governmental buildings a priest finally reveals their only intention was to aid the humans in sealing their emotions (Accomplished with PURE peace, without hatred, racism, ect) , which they did. Without anger, bravery, or selfishness they could not defend themselves and also failed to comprehend barbaric violence. However the peace is now disrupted as the aliens including the priest commit suicide and start going insane. The remaining aliens leave and it is hinted that they will destroy themselves through civil war. The protagonists and resistance move to jerusalem for symbolic purposes, because it's the heart of human religious culture, and it's a place where selfishness was at it's peak, being conquered/reconquered over 20 times in history. They create a society emulating the aliens. The book ends with a kid (8 year old) being bullied at school, but not defending himself in anger. The teacher intervenes and takes him to somewhere unknown. The end. --- Characters: (All protagonists, the focus shifts between them) Glenn: Once a calm child after being detained he wallowed in misery and hatred and became a savage killing machine once he escaped. The leader of the alien massacre. Jonathan: A placid teenager who decides that pacifism is the best way to resolve conflict however is stopped several times by the savages. Miguel: A physicist that lived away from society when the aliens invaded, he organized the human rebellion against alien control. He has problems controlling the humans and reasoning between Glenn and Jonathan. Please tell me if it at least sounds like a decent concept, I'm stressed out! The symbolism is huge. The aliens represent what could have been humanity, one of the shockers you find 1/3rd through is that they're structually similar to humans, rather, they have evolved. Glenn represents evil, malice, and greed. Jonathan represents compassion And Miguel represents tolerance and balance. @answerer They're very religious, almost like a cult. They want the humans to conform and join them, since they're technically humans who have already suppressed emotion. It also follows their religious teachings. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Name
Verification
Please enable JavaScript to continue.
Loading…
Post reply
Top