Caught my neighbor listenening to me argue, is he rude or am i?

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luxs

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Visiting my Mom, my brother who is 40 lives with her.... He starts complaining about my extended family.. I started bringing up my cousin who used to bully and abuse me for years , mentioned how my brother drove her all around nyc and she screamed at him that he drivse around in circles and to stop the car so she can take the bus///// I said i should of told her "get the f--- out then" He starts saying "you cant talk like that to her because she'll tell everyone and you bring yourself to her level.. This is a woman who abused me for years saying that im ugly, stupid, etc.. I told him well i should of treated her like she treated me,, he starts saying that I'm wrong and i should let her talk to me anyway she wants because thats how politicians act,, I said this is not politics and i dont care what she thinks about me,, he starts digging in to me and saying well she never spoke bad to him and just me and i have no right to talk back to her because then i would look bad to the family even though this woman abused me for years verbally..
So i lost my temper and told him to shut up and go to hell about 10 times screaming, i called him a wimp and jerk. yes i was screaming and he kept repeating "you have no right to talk to your cousin that way"--like he was enjoyign riling me up..... I happened to look out my peephole and caught my upstairs neighbor right outside my door, i opened the lock and he ran up the stairs...

So did my neighbor have a right listen to me argue or am i being rude for yelling?

its a 25 unti apartment complex. I feel really embarassed now!
I shouted loudly for about 15 mins.
 
I personally think its rude to listen outside a neighbors door to arguements. Everyone argues sometimes. Take it as a lesson as not to shout again, you open yourself up to gossip, neighbors love gossip

You really need to not let your brother bother you. he sounds like a major jerk. Its childish.
 
If my neighbors are shouting loudly, of course I listen. I have called the police before on neighbors who beat their girlfriends. It's natural curiosity to be drawn to disaster, it's just human nature. Why do you think people slow down and rubberneck when there is a wreck on the side of the highway?
 
Well, it IS rude to yell so loudly that it disturbs the neighbors. And for 15 minutes?

Your neighbor may have worried that you were in some sort of trouble or danger and before he called 911 wanted to ensure he was not calling then out for nothing - or worse - calling them out to a disturbance where you might get into trouble! Or he could have been very boldly nosy... but I suspect it was the former reason.

So what to do? Maybe you need to work on keeping arguments at lower voice and if someone gets you upset, tell them you do not want to discuss it anymore, switch the subject or maybe resume the discussion a little later when your temper is in check. As for the neighbors knowing your business - Lesson learned right? Keep it between your walls.

I would advise not saying a word to the guy above you. if you find out for sure that he is spreading rumors, then go have a chat and tell him you are sorry for the loudness, but you would appreciate him keeping what happened to himself. No mention of his being at the door unless he gets snotty or threatening. And even then, best to just tell the neighbors he was with his ear to your door rather than threatening to tell everyone or confronting him in any way.

Lessons learned right?

I am with you on the aunt.
 
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