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<blockquote data-quote="allymm" data-source="post: 2754143" data-attributes="member: 915824">Some people may critique that first sample you gave (part one paragraph), but if you&#039;re going for teen fiction it&#039;s truly fine. This is the way teens talk and think, and I think kids will connect with a reak character who they can identify with. Good work there!On the second, you were redundant at the beginning. When you say &quot;quickly&quot;, you don&#039;t also need to put &quot;at a fast speed&quot;. (Easy to fix, don&#039;t worry!) You also typed &quot;expect&quot; instead of &quot;except&quot;. I&#039;m assuming this is just a typo, so don&#039;t worry about that either. It would only take you a minute to fix it. Honestly, you just need to proofread before you submit something. The content is fine for the teen genre, it&#039;s relatable and realistic, but you have simple errors in spelling and grammar. Don&#039;t get discourage from criticism, just know that you have potential and should keep at it. Good luck!! <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile&nbsp; &nbsp; :)"&nbsp; data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /></blockquote>

[QUOTE="allymm, post: 2754143, member: 915824"] Some people may critique that first sample you gave (part one paragraph), but if you're going for teen fiction it's truly fine. This is the way teens talk and think, and I think kids will connect with a reak character who they can identify with. Good work there! On the second, you were redundant at the beginning. When you say "quickly", you don't also need to put "at a fast speed". (Easy to fix, don't worry!) You also typed "expect" instead of "except". I'm assuming this is just a typo, so don't worry about that either. It would only take you a minute to fix it. Honestly, you just need to proofread before you submit something. The content is fine for the teen genre, it's relatable and realistic, but you have simple errors in spelling and grammar. Don't get discourage from criticism, just know that you have potential and should keep at it. Good luck!! :) [/QUOTE]

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