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<blockquote data-quote="FakemStar" data-source="post: 2121550" data-attributes="member: 756031">When writing an essay, it is important to take into consideration your audience.Since you&#039;re taking an argumentative viewpoint, it is essential that you get your point across properly. Part of the solution will be cultural understanding.To answer your questions:1. Saying &quot;During the grow process of a child&quot; would refer to the biological development of a child rather than their mental development. Since your essay focuses on social and abilities alongside biology, it would be better to reword that sentence.2. Yes, the &quot;sub-division&quot; is grammatically correct, but not wholly understandable. This section of your writing is your thesis. Your thesis should include short references to examples the body of your essay will introduce.When writing, it is more important to be culturally accurate than grammatically correct.I say you should study with some people who have a lot of experience in writing.If I rewrote your introduction, I would write it like this:Mothers play an essential role during the growth and development of their child. They spend their time feeding and looking after their baby. This image leads many people to believe that only woman have the ability to properly nurture and care for their children. When people hear the word &quot;mother,&quot; they think of the one who fed them, clothed them, and guided them every step of the way unto adulthood. This mindset discourages the belief that men can take as much responsibility as the women. When people hear the word &quot;father,&quot; they only think of the man who is the head of the household, and not the one who nurtures the child. This image may be a common one, but it is my belief that both parents, the man and the woman, can care for their children equally, biologically and socially.Still, I&#039;d prefer you rewrite your introduction on your own. I rewrote this based on my culture. Just take it slow and write naturally. Try projecting what you mean.Edit: Careful, I&#039;m using an American style of writing and we have similar but different structures of writing than in the U.K. or Australia. Our grammar and spelling can be way off and some words don&#039;t mean the same as others.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="FakemStar, post: 2121550, member: 756031"] When writing an essay, it is important to take into consideration your audience. Since you're taking an argumentative viewpoint, it is essential that you get your point across properly. Part of the solution will be cultural understanding. To answer your questions: 1. Saying "During the grow process of a child" would refer to the biological development of a child rather than their mental development. Since your essay focuses on social and abilities alongside biology, it would be better to reword that sentence. 2. Yes, the "sub-division" is grammatically correct, but not wholly understandable. This section of your writing is your thesis. Your thesis should include short references to examples the body of your essay will introduce. When writing, it is more important to be culturally accurate than grammatically correct. I say you should study with some people who have a lot of experience in writing. If I rewrote your introduction, I would write it like this: Mothers play an essential role during the growth and development of their child. They spend their time feeding and looking after their baby. This image leads many people to believe that only woman have the ability to properly nurture and care for their children. When people hear the word "mother," they think of the one who fed them, clothed them, and guided them every step of the way unto adulthood. This mindset discourages the belief that men can take as much responsibility as the women. When people hear the word "father," they only think of the man who is the head of the household, and not the one who nurtures the child. This image may be a common one, but it is my belief that both parents, the man and the woman, can care for their children equally, biologically and socially. Still, I'd prefer you rewrite your introduction on your own. I rewrote this based on my culture. Just take it slow and write naturally. Try projecting what you mean. Edit: Careful, I'm using an American style of writing and we have similar but different structures of writing than in the U.K. or Australia. Our grammar and spelling can be way off and some words don't mean the same as others. [/QUOTE]

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