I am a (almost) 16 year old girl. I get really nervous when I'm about to go to school (sweaty hands, breathing in and out very quickly, a little dizzy, having to, uh, release gas >.<) And once I'm around a lot of people (At school, mall) I get the feeling that people that are laughing are laughing at me or that no one likes me etc. I have one BEST friend, and I used to have ALOT of friends, but since I've gotten to high school we're not really friends anymore. I talk to SOME people, only friends of my BFF. And in elemntary school I used to go out, like every weekend and I never worried about what other people thought about me. I think it started to happen since I got to high school and I lost most of my old friends. Anyone at school that I don't talk to think I'm REALLY quite. Which most of the time I am. Usually I'm not quite when I'm around my best friend and other friends I trust, which isn't many. Also, at home, I barely talk to my brother and my dad. The thing is, my brother is never really at home (he's in university, or working, he's 18 years old) And my dad is always either in his room, watching tv, or out... somewhere) My parents aren't really like most parents. They're always mad at eachother and they barely talk. And I have NO other family since they all live in South America. So the only person I basically have to talk to is my mom. Also I have these 2 friends that went to my elemntary school but we don't really hang out anymore. We just talk sometimes. One of them sometimes makes comments on how I never talk to guys and stuff, which is true. I've never had a conversation with a boy before. I'm either too scared to or too self conscious. I always think stuff like, why would they wanna talk to me, and I'm often thinking that I will never get married or fall in love... Recently I don't want to go out where there are alot of people because I am constantly thinking about what people think about me, and I just want to hide my face. I'm also really scared about getting a job because most of it deals with talking to people. I have also gotten quite depressed lately, because I feel really lonely and have no one to talk to, or no one that understands me, and because of my old friends who I miss alot and all that.
Well yeah, is this social disorder? And if it is, what should I do?
Well yeah, is this social disorder? And if it is, what should I do?