I'm 18 years old and I am extremely depressed. I feel into depression exactly last year but usually when I'm not depressed, I am filled with energy and I am extremely hyper. Some of my friends are worried about me nowadays because I'm usually this bubbly girl who's always happy and cheerful but now when we're all in a group outing, i'm as quiet as a mouse. I also have an extremely high sex drive. I have a very hard time concentrating in school ever since i was in high school. I never handed in my homework on time and even if i did, it was all last minute work and some unfinished. Even now in college, i failed my last semester and i have to repeat but i'm too depressed and i have no motivation to do anything. Right now, my memory is terrible. I can't even remember what i ate for lunch yesterday. I would constantly ask my friends the same questions and I would always forget that I already asked them. I find it so difficult to focus on my friends talking about anything! because nothing interests me anymore. To be honest, i usually talk about myself all the time. nothing else in the world interests me at all. Every time i find something that interests me, i would focus on it for about 5 months at tops and then let it go. I'm an art major right now and I'm not even sure if this is what i want to do in the future. I just feel very useless. I always have a tendency to lie. Everything i say is a lie and i always regret saying it. I also do things and i really regret it later such as sex. I had sex with my best friends boyfriend and felt no guilt until much later. I realize that i'm a very bad person for doing that but i really regret it now. That's the one thing I really wish i could change. I am extremely selfish and very irritable. I am also an extremely lazy person. I just had my semester break for about 4 months and all i did was sleep at home and watch tv. I feel so dumb and i have no motivation. My parents rarely talk to me and i have a good friends so i don't even know who to talk to about it. I have my boyfriend but i'm scared he would think different of me and leave me if i talk to him about it. I feel so suicidal right now. I'm always hoping that a car would just run me over or i just fall asleep and never wake up. If i do have bipolar disorder or ADD, what should I do? Should i tell my parents? is there a cure for this illness? please help! i feel like dying=(