I'm writing a story about a boy living with Dependant Personality disorder (Riley). Though out the story him and his brother try to reconnect to their father who has been absent ever since their mothers death.
Here it is:
The car ride from the hospital was silent. James was glaring out the window, picking at his cast, looking very much like the stereotypical rebellious teenager. Riley was fidgeting nervously, alternating between looking out the window and staring at James.
James, who must have gotten tired of Riley’s looks, snapped, “You’re such a freak!”
Riley’s eyes widened and looked as if he were about to burst into tears.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt your arm!” Riley cried.
James was not moved by his tears.
He raised his casted arm. “Do you see this? What am I going to tell Coach?” He slumped back into his seat, glaring at Riley.
“James it was an accident,” Daniel said, taking his eyes off the road to look back at the distressed teen.
James directed his anger at his older brother. “I don’t care! He always ruins everything, and now this!”
The look on Riley’s face was terrible. “James I-”
“Save it, I don’t want to hear anymore of your excuses.”
Riley bit his lip, obviously thinking of a way he could get James to forgive him. Riley couldn’t stand it when James was mad at him.
“James,” Daniel warned. The car pulled up to a stoplight and a family of four walked by, mother, father, sister, and brother.
A memory rushed to James.
“Mommy I’m hungry,” James whined. He looked longingly at the hamburgers his father had on the grill. He had said the burgers would be ready in an hour but James didn't know if he could wait that long. A little ways away, Riley was trying to weigh their father down by wrapping himself around his leg. His father smiled and continued walking as if Riley wasn’t even there.
James snapped back to reality. “God, I’m so sick of this messed up family. I should have been born into a normal family like that, but instead I’m stuck with an older brother who didn’t finish high school and a brother who is afraid of his own shadow.”
The light turned green, but the car stayed still. Behind them came an angry honk, which Daniel ignored. “Don’t take that tone with me. You should be grateful, there are millions of people worse off then you.”
James sneered. He gave Riley one final disgusted look before opening the car door and taking off across the street, somehow avoiding the onslaught of car.
Daniel groaned and hit his head on the steering wheel.
So what did you think?
BQ: Do you create your plot or your main character first?
BQ1: What is your favorite thing about your character?
BQ2: Would you ever kill that character?
BQ3: How's your novel doing?
To Chelsea: It's going great! So far I've only got the first chapter, but I'm working on doing research on DPD.
To Kate: It would be more helpful to me if you explained why it didn't capture your attention.
Here it is:
The car ride from the hospital was silent. James was glaring out the window, picking at his cast, looking very much like the stereotypical rebellious teenager. Riley was fidgeting nervously, alternating between looking out the window and staring at James.
James, who must have gotten tired of Riley’s looks, snapped, “You’re such a freak!”
Riley’s eyes widened and looked as if he were about to burst into tears.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt your arm!” Riley cried.
James was not moved by his tears.
He raised his casted arm. “Do you see this? What am I going to tell Coach?” He slumped back into his seat, glaring at Riley.
“James it was an accident,” Daniel said, taking his eyes off the road to look back at the distressed teen.
James directed his anger at his older brother. “I don’t care! He always ruins everything, and now this!”
The look on Riley’s face was terrible. “James I-”
“Save it, I don’t want to hear anymore of your excuses.”
Riley bit his lip, obviously thinking of a way he could get James to forgive him. Riley couldn’t stand it when James was mad at him.
“James,” Daniel warned. The car pulled up to a stoplight and a family of four walked by, mother, father, sister, and brother.
A memory rushed to James.
“Mommy I’m hungry,” James whined. He looked longingly at the hamburgers his father had on the grill. He had said the burgers would be ready in an hour but James didn't know if he could wait that long. A little ways away, Riley was trying to weigh their father down by wrapping himself around his leg. His father smiled and continued walking as if Riley wasn’t even there.
James snapped back to reality. “God, I’m so sick of this messed up family. I should have been born into a normal family like that, but instead I’m stuck with an older brother who didn’t finish high school and a brother who is afraid of his own shadow.”
The light turned green, but the car stayed still. Behind them came an angry honk, which Daniel ignored. “Don’t take that tone with me. You should be grateful, there are millions of people worse off then you.”
James sneered. He gave Riley one final disgusted look before opening the car door and taking off across the street, somehow avoiding the onslaught of car.
Daniel groaned and hit his head on the steering wheel.
So what did you think?
BQ: Do you create your plot or your main character first?
BQ1: What is your favorite thing about your character?
BQ2: Would you ever kill that character?
BQ3: How's your novel doing?
To Chelsea: It's going great! So far I've only got the first chapter, but I'm working on doing research on DPD.
To Kate: It would be more helpful to me if you explained why it didn't capture your attention.
I have about fifteen unfinished stories that I rotate through when I get bored of one. I just write for fun. For my current MC, I like his hesitant and cautious personality. 