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<blockquote data-quote="Brandeila" data-source="post: 2648149" data-attributes="member: 896576">I think you did a good job.&nbsp; You don&#039;t need the colon after Romeo and Juliet. Make sure to properly punctuate all titles, or at least put them in italics.&nbsp; Make &quot;Two of those...&quot; a new sentence.&nbsp; Now, Luhrman&#039;s interpretation should not be the dominant topic in your essay.&nbsp; Your essay topic is the comparison of the two, not discussing the two in general.&nbsp; Only information comparing and contrasting the two difference scenes should be included in your essay.&nbsp; Everything at after the sentence &quot;Luhrman&#039;s version is a mod...&quot; should be removed or placed somewhere else in the essay.&nbsp; Instead, briefly highlight the major differences and similarities that you will discuss in your essay.&nbsp; This is what your last sentence of your introduction should be, your thesis sentence, bringing up your argument.EDIT: the word respective isn&#039;t even needed.EDIT EDIT: I still dislike your last sentence.&nbsp; You&#039;re talking about the two balcony scenes, not one balcony scene.&nbsp; But the rest reads very nicely.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Brandeila, post: 2648149, member: 896576"] I think you did a good job. You don't need the colon after Romeo and Juliet. Make sure to properly punctuate all titles, or at least put them in italics. Make "Two of those..." a new sentence. Now, Luhrman's interpretation should not be the dominant topic in your essay. Your essay topic is the comparison of the two, not discussing the two in general. Only information comparing and contrasting the two difference scenes should be included in your essay. Everything at after the sentence "Luhrman's version is a mod..." should be removed or placed somewhere else in the essay. Instead, briefly highlight the major differences and similarities that you will discuss in your essay. This is what your last sentence of your introduction should be, your thesis sentence, bringing up your argument. EDIT: the word respective isn't even needed. EDIT EDIT: I still dislike your last sentence. You're talking about the two balcony scenes, not one balcony scene. But the rest reads very nicely. [/QUOTE]

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