Feel like I'm being smothered, what to do?

[Melissa C]

Tell him if you cant get your friend to fake something like her bf dumbed her and she wants you to spend the night and tel your bf that she doesnt want any boys over orant boys calling

 

[MELISSA B]

It's hard when you co-habitate with someone. At first it seems adventurous and fun and then it quickly turns into 'I need some space'. Sit your boyfriend down for a serious talk and let him know that sometimes you need peace and quiet to yourself and it's nothing against him, but you feel like you're being smothered. Be honest. Then I suggest that you two find two or three nights a week where you do things separately with YOUR friends. This way, you both have time to miss each other and you won't feel so smothered. Good luck!!!

 

[meli w]

Plan a date night. That will be your day/night to be together. Then try to go your separate ways through the week. This will buid you up to your date day/night! It adds back the excitement and anticipation. Encourage him to go out with friends. You do the same.

 

[melisaa]

Coming from a girl that LOVES her own time and space... You just need to stop this cycle before it gets way out of hand... there are a ton of things you can do by yourself that don't need to be with each other. I truly believe that if two people spend all their time with each other...its going to fail. You will start to pick that person apart and the relationship will suffer because of it. Just tell him that. Tell him even though you really enjoy your time together you really need to have your own time. It can even be you vegging out in the bedroom and he chills in the living room. Me and my fiance feel the same about this and I kid you not I have my own computer in the living room and he has his own in the bedroom..he watches his porn or plays his games or whatever and I do what I do...We don't need to be up each others butts all day. Hell if I want to see him and just walk the whole 25 feet to the bedroom, IM him, or yell! lol. Seriously though just explain to him that you really have to have your own time for this relationship to work. Good luck to ya girl!

 

[Melen Y]

Talk to him. Tell him there are certain times of the day or in your life that you need your privacy. Tell him to go hand out with his buddies or something. Or say you and your girls are going out for a shopping spree and no boys allowed. Talk to him. Persuade him to give you time to yourself.

 

[Melissa C]

no its not wrong to need space, if your with someone 24/7 then you eventually run out of things to talk and laff about, you need a seperate life as well to be able to maintain your life together, gently explain this to him, you cant go on living in each others pockets, its gonna suffocate you eventually.but getting down to a personal level it sounds like he has a problem, the things is its not your problem really, live your life and dont let him rule it cos that is what is happening... it sounds like there is a trust issue there as well......good luck x

 

[Mele Kai]

i think we all need space from something or someone. id tell him how you feel before you get overwhelmed.

 

[melbac]

Tell him exactly what you said. Tell him you're going over to a friends - dont tell him which one- and tell you just need a breather.... hopefully he will understand... because at one point in time both of you will have jobs and wont see e/o and you know what, thats part of life

 

[Melissa J]

there is nothing wrong with the way you're feeling. separation time is GREAT for couples whom live together or see each other a lot. It give each other a chance to miss one another. Same ole Same ole can ge dull, I know. i don't mind when my guy wants to go away alone or be with his guy friends, it give me a chance to be alone and do things alone.Makes me miss him and puts spark back in the relatinship...Just tell...and if he's got an issue with it, that's his problem. You can't constantly sacrifice yourself to make him feel secure all the time, what kind of a relationship is that> What happened to compromise that we all preach about on here. Good luck.

 

[melisawriteslove]

I think you should ask yourself if you're happy with the current situation and if you feel like you're being used. Does he have a job? Who pays the rent?

 

[melissa d]

sounds like he has separation anxiety. he may otherwise be a great bf, but he probably needs some sort of therapy to get over that. we all need some personal time. I love men who give you your space and I wouldnt have it any other way. Fortunately for me, just about every guy I ever dated feels the same way. Gotta have some time to yourself or you'll just go crazy! Tell him if he really cares about you and himself as well, he'll try to learn to deal with it and give you your needed space. Too much time together takes the fun out of being together. Then what do you have to look forward to?

 

[Melis M]

Hi. I know what you mean. I am sure you have already spoken with your bf about this. Does he have trust issues? Is he afraid that if you are not with him 24/7 he will lose you? This does not sound healthy to me. Maybe you could have a heart to heart talk with him about this. Has he experienced abandonment before? Sometimes you need to be away from each-other just so that you could have news to share with one another. He needs to have interests outside the relationship encourage him to join a charity group or maybe a sport group, something that he enjoys doing. Reassure him of your love for him and that he needs to trust you. Good luck!

 

[MelinaM]

i like my space 2 - i understand. sometimes i do stuff with my sister or a friend like: shop, see a chick flick, go outfor sushi, go to a baby shower, etc... you know like do stuff that he wouldn't possibly be interested in & if he is, then saywell my sister was hoping to spend time with ME. Try itonce or twice a month till he gets used to it & encourage himto go do something with a friend 2. It should help him build self-esteem.ps/ NO, of course its not wrong. it's actually healthy & it helps make us well rounded people when we are independently happy.

 

[Meli C]

Ok he has a problem often referred to as clinginess. This problem is more often seen in girls but is sometimes seen in guys. There are many things you can do, but once you decide you can't put up with him anymore, I'm sorry to say you might have to break up. However, this is not advisable since you seem to be in a very close mature almost ready to settle in relationship.1. Tell him how you feel, be like hey man, I feel like I'm getting smothered, can't I be by myself sometimes besides the 15 minute drives you have. 2. Encourage him to go out with his friends. If he worries about you tell him not to worry and eventually he will get used to leaving you alone. However, you should watch out because as he gets comfortable he might be leaving you alone to much. Make sure its some sort of a balance. I know him not spending enough time with you is the last thing on your mind since your problem is the opposite but make sure you don't let him do this.3. Get your own friends, go out of the house more.4. Increase those enjoyable moments you do have, like inter(u know), and all that other stuff.5. Give him a hobby6. Isn't he supposed to be occupied with school or a job. If he isn't then he isn't a very worthy guy if all he does is cling on to you. What's his education? degree?If he is pretty much not rly going for a skill job or trying for a college degree you should think of dumping him. But first try to tell him and encourage him to do something, if his problem persists then break up, its ur decision whether or not to get back together but try not to unless he's done somethings for himself and changed.