It's April 20, 2013, and I've been president of the US for 3 months now. I've managed to get 99% of Federal and state gun restrictions repealed (except that minimum age requirement, which now also applies to handguns as well as those arms which were regulated under NFA '34, GCA '68, and the Hughes Amendment to FOPA '86. For good measure, my Attorney General Joseph Arpaio, former sheriff of Maricopa County, Arizona, is personally supervising the detention of all known gun-control advocates so that they may see what life under their laws would have been like.
There are no more waiting periods, magazine limits, minimum barrel lengths, NICS checks, 4473 forms, purchase permit requirements, carry permit requirements, transfer taxes, or restrictions on interstate sales. The only questions asked for gun transactions are "Will that be cash or charge?" and "Would you like some ammo with that?":
For an extra measure of safety, I have withdrawn the US from the United Nations and expelled the UN from the United States. That giant sculpture of a revolver with a twisted barrel has been sold to Anzio Iron Works for conversion to some of their fine light cannon. This year's NRA annual meeting will be held in the former UN headquarters on the east side of Manhattan Island in New York City, with the former General Assembly chamber to be used as the display floor. Sales will be permitted during the event.
I'm a little worried about my new Secretary of the Interior, Ted Nugent. I've asked him to write regulations for hunting in the national parks, and he wants to include a season for using sharpened spoons.
So, withthis newly-regained freedom, how will you celebrate? What guns would you buy? Remember, there are no restrictions for anything from a .14-caliber derringer to an 8-inch self-propelled howitzer except your budget, so be creative. Me, I'm ordering an MP-5 chambered for the .50 AE round. See you in New York!
If you hadn't guessed, this was written with my tongue sticking through the side of my cheek.
Can you believe YA suggested putting this in Beer, Wine, and Spirits?
There are no more waiting periods, magazine limits, minimum barrel lengths, NICS checks, 4473 forms, purchase permit requirements, carry permit requirements, transfer taxes, or restrictions on interstate sales. The only questions asked for gun transactions are "Will that be cash or charge?" and "Would you like some ammo with that?":
For an extra measure of safety, I have withdrawn the US from the United Nations and expelled the UN from the United States. That giant sculpture of a revolver with a twisted barrel has been sold to Anzio Iron Works for conversion to some of their fine light cannon. This year's NRA annual meeting will be held in the former UN headquarters on the east side of Manhattan Island in New York City, with the former General Assembly chamber to be used as the display floor. Sales will be permitted during the event.
I'm a little worried about my new Secretary of the Interior, Ted Nugent. I've asked him to write regulations for hunting in the national parks, and he wants to include a season for using sharpened spoons.
So, withthis newly-regained freedom, how will you celebrate? What guns would you buy? Remember, there are no restrictions for anything from a .14-caliber derringer to an 8-inch self-propelled howitzer except your budget, so be creative. Me, I'm ordering an MP-5 chambered for the .50 AE round. See you in New York!
If you hadn't guessed, this was written with my tongue sticking through the side of my cheek.
Can you believe YA suggested putting this in Beer, Wine, and Spirits?