Fiance is always arguing?

[usa_grl15]

Every little thing with my fiance turns into an argument. When he argues with me, he calls me names and says some pretty rude things to me. I am spending Christmas with him but I want to go see my family after that and even offered to pay for the ticket. This turned into a big argument with him, just like he does in almost every argument, telling me to just go home and stay home. He tells me about 2 times per week that he doesn't want to be with me, I'm a pain in the @$$, I'm annoying, he can't stand me, he doesn't want to deal with me, I'm a b*tch, etc. Then afterwards, he tells me he didn't mean it and he only does it because we are fighting but he really does want to be with me. I don't know what to do. Half of me says to leave and never turn back because the way he treats me during arguments but the other half of me loves him and hopes we can make it work. I know he loves me but during arguments, everytime he says I should just leave and he doesn't want to be with me. If I cry, he says I am just trying to make him feel bad. We agreed that during arguments, he will not call me names or say he wants to leave no matter how upset he gets, but he keeps doing it. Is this relationship salvageable? Is there anything I can say to him to get him to understand it is wrong what he is doing? Any advice would be appreciated.

 

[stubby]

so he really loves you and yo ulove him? i would think that if i loved someone{i don't} that i would respect the other person enough not to call them names, i see your relationship as a flop, the drama is what yo like, but i feel sorry for your kids, growing up with fighting and arguing all the time, actually he sounds like a pyscho, well. prepare for the hitting and abuse to come, then the whiskey and dope to hide in it, i dont envy you,, merry christmas..

 

[beenthere]

Honey your relationship is over before it is even beginning. These things NEVER get better. Nobody is the exception. Once a man disrespects you and abuses you like he does, they keep on doing it. No the relationship can't be saved. I'm sorry but seriously the best thing you can do is leave.

Think about your life 20 years from now and have a couple of kids in the mix and you look back and realize that every day this guy has called you names, said mean and rotten things to you and most likely will treat the kids the same way. Is this how you see your life in 20 years?

 

[no1advice]

Your an idiot if you marry him. Do you think you and him will NOT argue about every little thing once your married?? God help you....you'll be arguing even more. Like putting gas on a fire!!

I say walk away from this potential divorce.

 

[LynnV1]

Your 'fiance' doesn't want to be engaged to you and certainly doesn't want to be married. What he's doing is constantly arguing so that YOU will take the steps to end the realtionship. That way he can tell everyone that it was all your fault, and he takes no responsibility. It is the ultimate coward's way out. That's also the reason he agrees to behave, and then doesn't. He will continue this behavior until you end it because you are fed up. And then he'll go tra-la-la-ing about...blaming you. There is no good solution to this. He won't be the bad guy, and will try to force you to be. He is very pathetic.

 

[thehillsarealive]

One thing is for sure : IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE! Marriage is way more complicated and requires a lot more maturity. You must be a bit too desperate to get married because there is nothing good or normal about your situation. He neither loves you nor respects you and sooner or later he will break your heart by cheating on you. Run as fast as you can and never look back! He is a grown man and there is no way you can teach him to love you, he knows that what he's doing is not right. Just go see you family without fighting him back, be cool, calm and collected and make this time your exit out of this abusive relationship. Find you a man that will love, adore and appreciate you. If you dont walk away know I can guarantee you that you'll leave to regret it.

 

[AlB]

You can try to see about some counseling but I suspect he wouldn't go anyhow. He like that control over you and only feel sorry when he thinks you may leave him with no sexual partner until he finds another one. You think you love him but he is an actor putting on a show for you and you might as well love George Cloony for the roles he plays rather than the roles your fiancee plays because both of them love you as much. You need to go to this web site and learn more about relationships and your own self esteem and then find someone better for you to be happy with. I think he understand all too well what he is going but in his mind, that is not wrong. You need someone better.

 

[onya]

OMG this relationship sounds super toxic! If you can't leave him but are tired of the abuse I suggest you seek a counselor! If he flat out refuses then you have your answer... every marriage or relationship in your case is worth saving so if he won't try and save it then he isn't worth it!

Good luck!!

 

[pearl]

He has zero respect for you.

He is a liar.

He is making a fool of you because he knows your threats to leave count for nothing.

Is there anything you can do to make yourself understand it is wrong to be in this relationship?

 

[ScarletCougar]

Marriage magnifies any problem that you have going into it. Even if the two of you already live together, marriage changes things. If he is this way now, then it is safe to predict that his verbal assaults will escalate to physical abuse within the first six months of marriage. Break the engagement, take some time to heal, and then find someone more loving and stable to settle down with.