funny blond jokes(no offense blonds)!!?

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ToriPineapple

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can you give me some totally funny blond jokes? pretty please!
here is one of mine
a blond, brunette and red head are being chased by the cops. they run into a farm, and then insidee a barn. the blond hides behind a sack of tomatoes, the brunette hides behind a horse, and the red head, a cow.
the cops come in, brunett:NEIGH!neigh! red head: mooo-moo!!moooo! blond:tomato tomato! tomato tomato!
~thanks
 
what did the blonde's left leg said to the right leg?
whats between us can make a lot of money.
 
What do you call a bunch of blondes in the freezer?
Frosted Flakes.

Why do a lot of blondes have big, square boobs?
They forget to take the tissues out of the box.

Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
She was trying to make up her mind.

Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.

Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
To remind themselves that toes go in first.

What did the blonde say when she opened the box of Cheerios?
"Oh, look, Daddy ... doughnut seeds."

Why couldn’t the blonde call 911?
Because there’s no 11 on the phone

Why can't blondes make ice cubes?
They always forget the recipe.

What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
"Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong!"

Haha. Here ya go :)
 
A blond goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blonds, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blonds.
Frustrated, the blond goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blonds.
The blond asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blond?"
The clerk looks at her and says,"That's not a TV - it's a microwave!
 
How do you drown a blonde?
A .. put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?
A .. They're both empty from the neck up.

Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A .. To see what was on the other side.


What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A .. Change.

What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A .. Pregnant.

How can you tell when a fax had been sent from a blonde?
A .. There is a stamp on it.

Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A .. It takes too long to retrain them.

How do you drive a blonde crazy?
A .. Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetize them.

Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?
A .. Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A .. Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A .. Wave to her.

How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A .. Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper
 
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