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Message: <blockquote data-quote="wayfaroutthere" data-source="post: 1453949" data-attributes="member: 238414">I'm guessing it will turn out to be a non-issue, since most of the distant out-of-state relatives will not attend.  But I'll pretend everyone is sure to come and answer you.You get to pick the guest list.  Only immediate family should expect to be invited--and I doubt anyone who your fiance can't remember will feel snubbed if they aren't invited.  Besides that, why do you care if someone you don't know feels slighted?  Let them have their hurt feelings if they want to feel that way.  You can tell them they should have sent a Christmas card.  Treat his mother's list as a list of everyone she can think of, not as a must-invite list.  You certainly don't want to give a space to someone who you want to be at your wedding to someone you don't really know.</blockquote>