i don't know if i have it but i don't feel sad now but i will get depressed once in a while well at least once a week. i can be short tempered with people now especially at college which i've had issues with friends in the recent year. i don't feel one bit optimistic about anything anymore. always seemingly looking at the negative sides of things. i see a lot of happiness in the past and never seems to see life in the future. it just seems bleak. everything is bleak. the world. my life. my future. no friends. i also have had pretty big social aniexty which makes making friends a lot harder. once i'm outside of college with them, i can hardly speak at all. i've experienced a lot of paranoia with friendships and have now pretty much lost friends. i hardly leave my room now. i just don't face reality as well. i've failed my education now pretty much. failed grades and just a very slim chance of uni. still haven't spoken to parents about it and it makes me feel sick to think about it. i end up coming back from college and it's either youtube or watching movies and playing on the wii. i've also been having driving lessons which i barely pull though. it feels really tense and like i'm on the edge nearing to a panic attack. my whole body kinds of locks up. i don't speak alot too. MY aniexty of talking doesn't help me in anything. work is difficult as i don't speak much and i get judged at alot over it. nothings getting better but i'm scared of going to the doctors about it. what do i say?