How and when should you go about telling your boyfriend you don't want to have sex?

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Nobodywantstodie

New member
I've been dating this guy for not very long (only about 2 weeks), and yes, he does call himself my boyfriend and that's what he asked when he asked me out, so yes, he is my boyfriend. And no, he wasn't pressuring me for sex. But at one point, we started talking about a couple of our other friends who are dating, and they do have sex. I didn't know if he was insinuating anything or not by bringing it up, because we just kind of swap stories about people, and we got on that topic just by talking about friends. But I wondered so I just said that I didn't think having sex in college was a good idea, and he said it wasn't bad if you didn't have sex with loads of people and stuff like that.

I don't want to have sex until I'm married or until I intend to marry someone, definitely not now. I know that if a guy won't date you unless you have sex with him, you should dump him, which is what I would do. I'm just not sure how and when to bring it up, I've been told by some teacher that you should right away, on the first date, but that's awkward... and also when I tell him it should probably be in person? It's possible he didn't mean anything by it, also, maybe I unintentionally insulted some of his friends who do have sex... but in any case, it should still be brought up.
 
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Ginny

Member
Whoever told you that you should on the first date...no way. That's jumping way way way too far ahead for a first date lol. I wouldn't say anything about it until you feel you need to. I just wouldn't really worry about it. If it comes up again and it seems like he's implying that he wants to then simply state that you're saving yourself until marriage. He'll either be completely okay with that...or not. I think you know what to do from there :)
 
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Lucario

New member
You should talk to your boyfriend about this before you get too far into your relationship. If you don't want to have sex before marriage, he should respect your decision without arguing with you. It is your decision whether or not you want to have sex before marriage, and your boyfriend should not have to force you to do anything you don't want to do. If he respects your decision, he is definitely worth your time and love. If he doesn't respect your decision and wants to have sex with you anyways, find another boyfriend; a boyfriend who doesn't respect his girlfriend's decision isn't worth it.
 
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tribe_chief

New member
" You shouldn 't talk to him about , it all . "
_________________________________

" Get ready for ' the fight for your Life ' , if

he is unwilling to understand you , and ....

he 's still , ' in it only for self satisfaction ' . "
 
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ChristianRios

New member
Tell him your not ready for it yet and if he gets all mad about it hey you know why he's dating you only for sex but if he doesn't get mad and understands then he respects you and your body.
 
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Holly

Member
I think the next time he mentions something about the topic just tell him that you do not want to have sex until you are married, or until u intend to marry someone. Just tell him, and if he understands then that is good for you, and he obviously really cares for you. Yeah. on the first date it is a little awkward to do. but you tell him in person., phone, computer. however you feel more comfortable, and do not let him try to do anything to you that you do not want. Remember you have the power to say NO. I hope this helps a little.
 
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