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How can I break through the stakeholders of hatred if all the inlaws have a vested
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<blockquote data-quote="OddlyEnough" data-source="post: 2425493" data-attributes="member: 556688"><p>interest to not be exposed? Many lies have been said about me before my son married into this family (my ex-husband’s sister-in-law is best friends with my son’s MIL. Initially some came to light, which I thought we forgive and move on, but those individuals act like they deserve revenge. </p><p>I never exposed that my son’s father in law used to call his daughter’s friend’s mom’s to make passes, though there is much anger amongst my son’s wife and mom towards the father for his past cheating, which had nothing to do with me other than I was one he called (only he and I know this and I have acted like I don’t remember).</p><p>My son and I used to be very close, I now realize by fighting my children’s battles and providing everything they needed, they are now spineless. None the less I can’t go back and change it, but still want to be part of his family. He once said the problem is my presence stirs bad emotions in this family. He and his wife both stated a year ago (before the nixed me) that my presence is strong and I make their other loved ones unhappy. By hating me, my son makes his wife happy and she makes her parents and their best friend’s friends happy. My ex was an abusive alcoholic (recovered and a good person now) who enjoys controlling when I can see my GC, because when we first divorced he had monitored visitation r/t beating me and abusing the children.</p><p>Long story short, my son and his wife will not talk directly to me and will not tell me what I did wrong, but now I am not allowed to see my grandchildren, whom I was having fun with and loved right up to the last time I saw them (which we didn’t know was our last visit). </p><p>Stake holders in this hatred are my ex, his brother and wife (who blame me for introducing them and ruining their lives) who are best friends with my son’s wife’s parents and her parents because the father has a secret and the mom wants everything to evolve around her (she gets drink when watching the children- she doesn’t like children, and hates that the grandchildren enjoy my visits which are rare because I live far away and she lives very close and sees them every day. </p><p>If the stakeholders benefit from he being held as an enemy how can I break through to have a relationship with my son and his family?</p><p></p><p>I'm not saying I am a saint, but I like to put all the cards on the table and eal with the consequences to end negative behaviors. I take responsibility for my mistakes, now being told I didn't make any mistalkes and that why I can't see my GC is hurtful.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="OddlyEnough, post: 2425493, member: 556688"] interest to not be exposed? Many lies have been said about me before my son married into this family (my ex-husband’s sister-in-law is best friends with my son’s MIL. Initially some came to light, which I thought we forgive and move on, but those individuals act like they deserve revenge. I never exposed that my son’s father in law used to call his daughter’s friend’s mom’s to make passes, though there is much anger amongst my son’s wife and mom towards the father for his past cheating, which had nothing to do with me other than I was one he called (only he and I know this and I have acted like I don’t remember). My son and I used to be very close, I now realize by fighting my children’s battles and providing everything they needed, they are now spineless. None the less I can’t go back and change it, but still want to be part of his family. He once said the problem is my presence stirs bad emotions in this family. He and his wife both stated a year ago (before the nixed me) that my presence is strong and I make their other loved ones unhappy. By hating me, my son makes his wife happy and she makes her parents and their best friend’s friends happy. My ex was an abusive alcoholic (recovered and a good person now) who enjoys controlling when I can see my GC, because when we first divorced he had monitored visitation r/t beating me and abusing the children. Long story short, my son and his wife will not talk directly to me and will not tell me what I did wrong, but now I am not allowed to see my grandchildren, whom I was having fun with and loved right up to the last time I saw them (which we didn’t know was our last visit). Stake holders in this hatred are my ex, his brother and wife (who blame me for introducing them and ruining their lives) who are best friends with my son’s wife’s parents and her parents because the father has a secret and the mom wants everything to evolve around her (she gets drink when watching the children- she doesn’t like children, and hates that the grandchildren enjoy my visits which are rare because I live far away and she lives very close and sees them every day. If the stakeholders benefit from he being held as an enemy how can I break through to have a relationship with my son and his family? I'm not saying I am a saint, but I like to put all the cards on the table and eal with the consequences to end negative behaviors. I take responsibility for my mistakes, now being told I didn't make any mistalkes and that why I can't see my GC is hurtful. [/QUOTE]
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