how can i live without him? MATURE ANSWERS!?

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Hannah

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My partner & i were together for almost 5 years and i love him so much, he was my world. He was killed last week i feel like i cant go on, i miss him so much..i need him. He had a dodgy life but i always mad sure i kept away from it & have my own good job. He was a dealer as well as other things despite that everyone loved him, he was the sweetest guy you could meet and i loved him so much. My dad has always been apart of that world aswel(i was always a daddy's girl) and he was almost like my partners mentor(or something) they fell out recently & i know he has something to do with his death, he was arrested but let go. I wont even see him, i never want to see him again i hate him. My boyfriend was only 28 and i am 25. I cant get out of our bed & cant stop crying my friends are always with me and are trying to help but i cant help it. Im also 4 months pregnant with his baby & i only got to tell him 3 days before he died and he was over the moon and swore that he would leave that lifestyle & we would move away. No one knows im pregnant as we didn't tell anyone yet. How am i going to get on with life? I miss him so much the pain wont go away. Please help me
Please don't judge me for what he did, you cant help who you love.
 
look if you love him you be with him if not walk away from all this don't be stupid to your self friends this man is not for you mate
 
First of all, not everyone stereotypes drug dealers as bad people. I know lots of them and most of them are really lovely people (as long as you dont get on the wrong side of them) Ive never lost a partner in this way but i have been dropped when i was deeply in love with him. I found it really hard and it took me nearly 8 months to get over him. Luckily then i realised i was unhappy with our relationship. My advise to you would be to make sure you keep eating and stay healthy for your baby sake. If you speak to your doctor he may be able to give you information of support groups where other people in the same situation get together. If you feel like you want to stay at home and cry then do it no one can stop you doing this. Just be careful not to make it a habit as you will find it hard to break. Speak to friends and family and tell someone that you are pregnant. Having that on your shoulders at a time like this is a big burden and you should not have to deal with on your own. It is true that time is a healer but it does take time and he will always be a part of you. try to remember the good times you had together rather than the bad. I hope this helps you and good luck in the future. Take care
 
What you will do next will define who you are. I wish you all the best. You have someone who is counting on you now. Don't let her down.

I'm sorry for your loss.
 
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