mymmaismandMmnmtauros
New member
all my life ive acted desperate for acceptance, friendship and approval, tried to hard to be like and accepted, looked for outside validation, reassurance, acceptance, approval. --- acted needy, dependent on that person to stick by me and be loyal unconditionally......cling to people, seek intimacy and closeness to soon.
as a result ive never formed any relationships in life, when i try to form friendships or relationships....and they get to know what im like.....my severe low self worth......their frightened off.
i realize desperation is ugly and unattractive, and i dont want to be like that.
placing big expectations upon people and situations ------- and when they dont meet your needs you fall into deep anger and depression.
trying to hard to be accepted and liked . people have mostly always rejected me in social situations.
Look for outside reassurance, and approval, act needy and desperate for friendship, acceptence and validation......get hung up and bothered about what people say and think about me..... and if people dont give me approval....attention....acceptence....or... reject me.........i become deeply angry about it ----- bordering on losing my conduct and behaving antisocially.
get angry at people condescending me or belittling me or treating me like a charity case , feel affected by those trying to make me feel inferior........become angry, lose focus.....fail to assert myself effectively.....become too emotional -- too affected by what others say and do and think .
im 31 now , have borderline personality disorder and ptsd --- endured a very tough life, abuse , bullying victimisation etc -- as a result ive never lived a normal life, never built any relationships ever, never been employed- always suffered severe low self esteem. rage problems and agression.
for years ive tried to develop, self belief, confidence in myself, to not care what people think about me, or care about what people say , trust my own judgement and believe that it only matters what i think.
but i still struggle to do it, and im finding alot, that i still do what i always did .
i just wanna be this unfazed , laid back man, who is self reliant, confident in his own abilities and in myself and who doesnt try hard to do anything or to be accepted, and just has a ' whatever ' attitude .
but i can never do it or pull it off.
as a result ive never formed any relationships in life, when i try to form friendships or relationships....and they get to know what im like.....my severe low self worth......their frightened off.
i realize desperation is ugly and unattractive, and i dont want to be like that.
placing big expectations upon people and situations ------- and when they dont meet your needs you fall into deep anger and depression.
trying to hard to be accepted and liked . people have mostly always rejected me in social situations.
Look for outside reassurance, and approval, act needy and desperate for friendship, acceptence and validation......get hung up and bothered about what people say and think about me..... and if people dont give me approval....attention....acceptence....or... reject me.........i become deeply angry about it ----- bordering on losing my conduct and behaving antisocially.
get angry at people condescending me or belittling me or treating me like a charity case , feel affected by those trying to make me feel inferior........become angry, lose focus.....fail to assert myself effectively.....become too emotional -- too affected by what others say and do and think .
im 31 now , have borderline personality disorder and ptsd --- endured a very tough life, abuse , bullying victimisation etc -- as a result ive never lived a normal life, never built any relationships ever, never been employed- always suffered severe low self esteem. rage problems and agression.
for years ive tried to develop, self belief, confidence in myself, to not care what people think about me, or care about what people say , trust my own judgement and believe that it only matters what i think.
but i still struggle to do it, and im finding alot, that i still do what i always did .
i just wanna be this unfazed , laid back man, who is self reliant, confident in his own abilities and in myself and who doesnt try hard to do anything or to be accepted, and just has a ' whatever ' attitude .
but i can never do it or pull it off.