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<blockquote data-quote="BeefyCheeks" data-source="post: 2467534" data-attributes="member: 760690">Talk when you both are calm.&nbsp; Communicate by using &quot;I feel&quot;... for example, &quot;I feel that when ask you what time you will pick up my daughter you become defensive and this starts getting me defensive&quot;&lt; -- also ask yourself, why this isn&#039;t agreed upon before hand, instead of last minute.&nbsp; Perhaps a way to diffuse this problem is deciding in the morning what time who is picking up who and the argument won&#039;t start.Arguments happen because a problem in communication, perhaps one doesn&#039;t feel they can open up with how they are feeling without being defensive.&nbsp; If that is the case with her, and you want to make the effort, then calmly ask her at night when you are lying in bed how she feels, ask her how her day was, what she is thinking about, and tell her how much you love her... make the effort earn her trust and allow her to open her heart and talk to you about her feelings.. perhaps she just needs to know you will listen to her and want to know what she is feeling.&nbsp; Give her your ear, and I&quot;m sure she will give you her heart.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="BeefyCheeks, post: 2467534, member: 760690"] Talk when you both are calm. Communicate by using "I feel"... for example, "I feel that when ask you what time you will pick up my daughter you become defensive and this starts getting me defensive"< -- also ask yourself, why this isn't agreed upon before hand, instead of last minute. Perhaps a way to diffuse this problem is deciding in the morning what time who is picking up who and the argument won't start. Arguments happen because a problem in communication, perhaps one doesn't feel they can open up with how they are feeling without being defensive. If that is the case with her, and you want to make the effort, then calmly ask her at night when you are lying in bed how she feels, ask her how her day was, what she is thinking about, and tell her how much you love her... make the effort earn her trust and allow her to open her heart and talk to you about her feelings.. perhaps she just needs to know you will listen to her and want to know what she is feeling. Give her your ear, and I"m sure she will give you her heart. [/QUOTE]

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