How do you cope with hurtful gossip after a divorce?

[jello_jammer]

I got divorced recently. While the marriage break-up was painful, what's worse is the gossip from relatives, friends & colleagues. They tend to say things like "what's wrong with this woman? why couldn't she make her own marriage work?"

At social functions, I get looks of curiousity & pity. And guys who were interested in me before marriage now quickly turn the other way when they see me.

I despise going through this as it is unpleasant & hurtful. Is anyone else facing a similar situation? And how are you coping with something like this??

 

[GourmetFlossie]

I think the problem here may be your self esteem - sorry to sound so harsh, but if you really didnt care what other people think then you wouldnt be noticing what you think you are hearing. People get divorced all the time , its nothing new and if they havent got anything better to talk about than someone elses divorce then they arent true friends.

 

[TerriJ]

I think you're misreading people's reactions. They aren't wondering why you couldn't make your marriage work, they're wondering how they should react. Should they act like they don't know? Should they try to console you? Should they say "good for you!"?

As far as the guys, that probably has two origins:
1. It's easy to give the impression you're interested when there's no risk you'll be taken up on it. Some of them are wimps.
2. Guys have this "code," and it wouldn't be considered good form to date the ex-wife of someone they know, at least for a while.

You've been through enough without conjuring up a lot of ideas about negative things people are thinking about you. The truth is, nobody spends a great deal of time thinking about you at all, except your family and maybe some close friends.

Relax, hun. It's gonna get better.