PaigeTurner
New member
- Nov 25, 2010
- 2
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I am a 18 year old female, on December 2nd, I will be nineteen.
This will be the 19th birthday I have without celebration and the one where I cry the most.
I am alone all year round, but on my birthday it hurts much worse. No one I know remembers it. Not even my family.
I don't have close friends, but I have acquaintances I have known for several years who have no idea when it is. I know theirs and make sure to say something, and to some I have given gifts.
I hate being alone, some people enjoy it, but it is killing me inside. Everyday I am by myself more and more of happiness and hope are lost.
I have never had a friend. I have never held hands with another person, never kissed anyone, never had sex. I get a hug maybe once a year.
I am not school anymore, but will be attending college in January. I don't want start out like this, in such a horrible depression, but I can't escape it.
I want to be able to make friends and have as close to normal a life as I can, but I don't know what to do.
My loneliness is destroying me. I only leave the house once a week to get groceries. I spend the majority of my time sleeping and crying and examining how much of my life has been a waste and how worthless I am.
I know I will never have friends or be loved or remembered, but I want it so badly. I just want to feel loved by someone. To matter to someone. For someone to love me the way I am and not reject me or leave me.
I don't deserve it, but can't live without it. I am desperate for anyone, I am to the point of not caring if someone abuses me, just as long as they are with me. I need someone.
I seem extremely pathetic, but when I have the courage to approach people, I am nice, don't come on to strong and try to be as interested in them and kind as I can be, but as nice and good as I am to people, no one wants me.
i don't know what is wrong with me, I can't fix it. I am severely damaged.
I have reached out everywhere else I could. I have tried to get a psychiatrist, but the only one in my price range or a reasonable distance from me won't have an opening for almost two months. I need someone now. I have tried calling hotlines, but they all just tell me to get a hobby or a psychiatrist.
I don't know what to do.
I can't go out and meet people in the condition I am in. I can't go an hour without bursting into tears.
I have tried to set up things with the very few people I do know, but have had no luck. I have not done anything with another person since April 26.
I have no family to go to, no pet, I can't have one where I live and I can't move. No job, and I doubt anyone would hire me like this.
I don't have a car so I can't really go anywhere. Taking up hobbies and trying to keep my mind off of things don't help either. I just feel miserable regardless of what I am doing.
I need to friend to help me out of this, but I can't get a friend until I am out of it.
This will be the 19th birthday I have without celebration and the one where I cry the most.
I am alone all year round, but on my birthday it hurts much worse. No one I know remembers it. Not even my family.
I don't have close friends, but I have acquaintances I have known for several years who have no idea when it is. I know theirs and make sure to say something, and to some I have given gifts.
I hate being alone, some people enjoy it, but it is killing me inside. Everyday I am by myself more and more of happiness and hope are lost.
I have never had a friend. I have never held hands with another person, never kissed anyone, never had sex. I get a hug maybe once a year.
I am not school anymore, but will be attending college in January. I don't want start out like this, in such a horrible depression, but I can't escape it.
I want to be able to make friends and have as close to normal a life as I can, but I don't know what to do.
My loneliness is destroying me. I only leave the house once a week to get groceries. I spend the majority of my time sleeping and crying and examining how much of my life has been a waste and how worthless I am.
I know I will never have friends or be loved or remembered, but I want it so badly. I just want to feel loved by someone. To matter to someone. For someone to love me the way I am and not reject me or leave me.
I don't deserve it, but can't live without it. I am desperate for anyone, I am to the point of not caring if someone abuses me, just as long as they are with me. I need someone.
I seem extremely pathetic, but when I have the courage to approach people, I am nice, don't come on to strong and try to be as interested in them and kind as I can be, but as nice and good as I am to people, no one wants me.
i don't know what is wrong with me, I can't fix it. I am severely damaged.
I have reached out everywhere else I could. I have tried to get a psychiatrist, but the only one in my price range or a reasonable distance from me won't have an opening for almost two months. I need someone now. I have tried calling hotlines, but they all just tell me to get a hobby or a psychiatrist.
I don't know what to do.
I can't go out and meet people in the condition I am in. I can't go an hour without bursting into tears.
I have tried to set up things with the very few people I do know, but have had no luck. I have not done anything with another person since April 26.
I have no family to go to, no pet, I can't have one where I live and I can't move. No job, and I doubt anyone would hire me like this.
I don't have a car so I can't really go anywhere. Taking up hobbies and trying to keep my mind off of things don't help either. I just feel miserable regardless of what I am doing.
I need to friend to help me out of this, but I can't get a friend until I am out of it.