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<blockquote data-quote="OnTheFloor1" data-source="post: 2631036" data-attributes="member: 891789">alone. How do I face this fear? There&#039;s a saying in Spanish that goes something like this, &quot;A habit can sometimes be stronger than love.&quot; What it means, is you may be with a person out of habit, not so much out of love. This is true for my case.My ex and I have been on and off for the past 3 and a half years. The entire time I can say I’ve had more bad times than good times. Although I do love him, I don’t want to be with him anymore but I don’t leave him because I am afraid to be alone. I don’t want to be with him anymore because I do not and cannot trust him again. His betrayal hurt me terribly and it continues to hurt because he still communicates with that woman.He says he loves me but his actions prove otherwise. He’s manipulative and always plays the role of the victim. I end up feeling guilty and falling for his guilt trips. Nothing ties me to him. We do not live together and we have no children. It’s just this evil fear of mine that keeps me here. He knows I always stick around no matter what he does. How convenient for him isn’t it? He can have his cake and eat it too.I know I’ve chosen to torture myself because I am the owner of my decisions. I hurt because I chose to maintain myself in this situation.The thought of being alone terrifies me and so I start making excuses to go back. I’m not getting any younger and I’m getting nowhere with this. I want to be happy with a man who really loves and respects me.Why is it so hard to face this fear? I’m tired of being a wuss.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="OnTheFloor1, post: 2631036, member: 891789"] alone. How do I face this fear? There's a saying in Spanish that goes something like this, "A habit can sometimes be stronger than love." What it means, is you may be with a person out of habit, not so much out of love. This is true for my case. My ex and I have been on and off for the past 3 and a half years. The entire time I can say I’ve had more bad times than good times. Although I do love him, I don’t want to be with him anymore but I don’t leave him because I am afraid to be alone. I don’t want to be with him anymore because I do not and cannot trust him again. His betrayal hurt me terribly and it continues to hurt because he still communicates with that woman. He says he loves me but his actions prove otherwise. He’s manipulative and always plays the role of the victim. I end up feeling guilty and falling for his guilt trips. Nothing ties me to him. We do not live together and we have no children. It’s just this evil fear of mine that keeps me here. He knows I always stick around no matter what he does. How convenient for him isn’t it? He can have his cake and eat it too. I know I’ve chosen to torture myself because I am the owner of my decisions. I hurt because I chose to maintain myself in this situation. The thought of being alone terrifies me and so I start making excuses to go back. I’m not getting any younger and I’m getting nowhere with this. I want to be happy with a man who really loves and respects me. Why is it so hard to face this fear? I’m tired of being a wuss. [/QUOTE]

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