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<blockquote data-quote="LostInlove" data-source="post: 2229979" data-attributes="member: 181964">My girlfriend and I are currently together and our 2 year anniversary has just passed. We love each other very much, but we had our ups and downs. When we fight it is hard for us to stay mad at each other, however; when we do get mad at each other we end up either not talking for a day or two or we just argue on and on and on... untill we finally accept that the conversation isn&#039;t going anywhere and just hanging up. We accepted that we would love each other no matter what and that&#039;s whats happening, because we can&#039;t imagine a day of us not being together. The end of last year she said that she wanted to take a break from our relationship (about 3 weeks) which included going out without circumstances (going out with guys), being able to have more space, and not talking on the phone/internet as much. Here&#039;s what the problem I saw, before this happened she would tell me not to go out with any girls because shes worried and vice versa. Suddenly after wanting to take a break she said, &quot;if i wanted I can see other people but no sex.&quot; And I wondered why and how she could change her mind so easily. I did allow the break to happen because I wanted her to know I&#039;m not controlling her in any way. I did not date anyone at that point...Three weeks passed....And I did not mention anything about the break, so I let it slide and waited for about another 2 months hoping she would bring it up. She didn&#039;t. Within the time I&#039;ve been waiting she has been going out a lot because it was summer time where she lived. The people she hung out with the most was 1 girl -her close friend- and 2 other guys. I know this because the facebook pictures they took while they were out. Night time is usually when we ended up talking and her telling me about her day. And I would always question the one guy who was particularly close to her in the photos within the 4 people. She told me about him and I suddenly told her I don&#039;t trust him and I warned her to watch out for him. Her response to that was usually don&#039;t worry hes a &quot;nice guy&quot; or &quot; why would he like me? I&#039;m ugly.&quot;&nbsp; (She is very beautiful)A few weeks later... We had a conflict where she got kissed by the so called &quot;nice guy&quot; because he surprised her with it. The the next day after she got into a fight with her mom -who treats her like crap- suddenly going to &quot;the nice guy&#039;s house&quot; for a place to stay while she takes time away from her mom. She apparently didn&#039;t have any other places to go to which I thought was a bad choice because that night the &quot;nice guy&quot; offered her drinks and got her tipsy and took off her pants off and almost had sex with her. I said &quot;almost&quot; because she told me she pulled away with the fact that she still having the ability to think straight.After telling me this a month or so after it happened I was so confused about my feelings for her and how she can let something like that happen. We talked about it and the only reason she said, &quot;she did that was because she felt lonely physically.&quot; And she admitted that they were going out which I already suspected. It took me a few months to get over what happened and we eventually started to get close again and I did bring up the whole &quot;break&quot; thing and we decided it&#039;s over and we haven&#039;t been happier.There are times right now I always think she can make a better decision for herself because she has control over it. Like going to parties and setting conditions about how much to drink to stay safe, who&#039;s going with you, and not giving other guys a hint of having a chance with her even tho she doesn&#039;t. When I mention these things to her she just thinks that I don&#039;t trust her or I&#039;m controlling who she can or can&#039;t meet. Which isn&#039;t my intention because I just want to protect her and show her how much I care. I always end up reminding her about the past about what happened to her and &quot;mr. nice guy&quot;, but she gets all pissed off and says why I bring it up to hurt her, but my intentions are just to remind her what could happen again and how I don&#039;t want either of us to get hurt.Is it bad to think the way I do ? Specially about what happened in the past? Please send suggestions I really need them right now. Don&#039;t respond if you don&#039;t have constructive criticism or just want to flame. Thank you.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="LostInlove, post: 2229979, member: 181964"] My girlfriend and I are currently together and our 2 year anniversary has just passed. We love each other very much, but we had our ups and downs. When we fight it is hard for us to stay mad at each other, however; when we do get mad at each other we end up either not talking for a day or two or we just argue on and on and on... untill we finally accept that the conversation isn't going anywhere and just hanging up. We accepted that we would love each other no matter what and that's whats happening, because we can't imagine a day of us not being together. The end of last year she said that she wanted to take a break from our relationship (about 3 weeks) which included going out without circumstances (going out with guys), being able to have more space, and not talking on the phone/internet as much. Here's what the problem I saw, before this happened she would tell me not to go out with any girls because shes worried and vice versa. Suddenly after wanting to take a break she said, "if i wanted I can see other people but no sex." And I wondered why and how she could change her mind so easily. I did allow the break to happen because I wanted her to know I'm not controlling her in any way. I did not date anyone at that point... Three weeks passed.... And I did not mention anything about the break, so I let it slide and waited for about another 2 months hoping she would bring it up. She didn't. Within the time I've been waiting she has been going out a lot because it was summer time where she lived. The people she hung out with the most was 1 girl -her close friend- and 2 other guys. I know this because the facebook pictures they took while they were out. Night time is usually when we ended up talking and her telling me about her day. And I would always question the one guy who was particularly close to her in the photos within the 4 people. She told me about him and I suddenly told her I don't trust him and I warned her to watch out for him. Her response to that was usually don't worry hes a "nice guy" or " why would he like me? I'm ugly." (She is very beautiful) A few weeks later... We had a conflict where she got kissed by the so called "nice guy" because he surprised her with it. The the next day after she got into a fight with her mom -who treats her like crap- suddenly going to "the nice guy's house" for a place to stay while she takes time away from her mom. She apparently didn't have any other places to go to which I thought was a bad choice because that night the "nice guy" offered her drinks and got her tipsy and took off her pants off and almost had sex with her. I said "almost" because she told me she pulled away with the fact that she still having the ability to think straight. After telling me this a month or so after it happened I was so confused about my feelings for her and how she can let something like that happen. We talked about it and the only reason she said, "she did that was because she felt lonely physically." And she admitted that they were going out which I already suspected. It took me a few months to get over what happened and we eventually started to get close again and I did bring up the whole "break" thing and we decided it's over and we haven't been happier. There are times right now I always think she can make a better decision for herself because she has control over it. Like going to parties and setting conditions about how much to drink to stay safe, who's going with you, and not giving other guys a hint of having a chance with her even tho she doesn't. When I mention these things to her she just thinks that I don't trust her or I'm controlling who she can or can't meet. Which isn't my intention because I just want to protect her and show her how much I care. I always end up reminding her about the past about what happened to her and "mr. nice guy", but she gets all pissed off and says why I bring it up to hurt her, but my intentions are just to remind her what could happen again and how I don't want either of us to get hurt. Is it bad to think the way I do ? Specially about what happened in the past? Please send suggestions I really need them right now. Don't respond if you don't have constructive criticism or just want to flame. Thank you. [/QUOTE]

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