introduction for term paper... Does it work? Any errors? General Opinions? Thanks!?

Mihow

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As long as sickness and desperation have plagued humanity, there has always existed a desire in the suffering to be freed from the burdens of life. Over the centuries, the fulfillment of their wishes happened secretly, hidden from society. But during the 19th and 20th centuries, with the advent of evolutionist theory and the subsequent decline of organized religion, acts, which for so long had been concealed due to the scandal that they would inevitably provoke, came into public view. These acts, namely homosexuality, abortion, and euthanasia, although ever-present since the dawn of humanity, had never been presumed morally right: their perpetration almost always resulted in shame and infamy. But now, after the public emergence of these once-dishonorable deeds has occurred, society seeks to revolutionize itself even further and shatter the negative perceptions associated with their commission: perceptions which caused them to be suppressed in the first place.

As could be expected, out of the three aforementioned issues, the one which originally seemed most acceptable for widespread, unrestricted implementation was euthanasia. The reasons for this are obvious. We, as humans, desire to achieve purpose and recognition in our lives while avoiding the things which are loathsome to our nature. In these are included pain, uselessness, fear, and dependence. Unfortunately, the inescapable process of aging is often accompanied by such troubles, causing the memorable parts of our lives to be obstructed by the suffering which we are ultimately forced to undergo. Thus, it would be compassionate and merciful if the dying process was amended in order to eradicate the fear and suffering associated with death and, through this, triumph over its power forever.

Religious beliefs aside, such should be the sentiment of every rational human being. But no matter how intrinsically human the desire to be free from suffering and death is, the unfortunate truth is that euthanasia cannot be effectively legalized while at the same time preserving the value of life.
 
Overall, i started to edit this but i couldn't get very far because you are not assuming your reader does not know what your talking about. Also, you are trying to put way to much information into one sentence, which is causing it to sound like you copied and pasted certain parts of sentences into the paper. If you cannot word the term paper without a source then add one, it will make it a stronger and easier to read term paper if you take my suggestions into consideration.
 
There are a number of "That" in this work that are unnecessary. There is at least one "Which" that is unnecessary. I noted a couple of full colons in the piece. When I use a full colon I space twice and capitalize the first word after the colon. The same is true between sentences. I also noted a number of very long sentences. Long sentences, even when grammatically correct, can confuse a reader. The confusion causes rereads by the reader. If their reading is for enjoyment they won't stay long if they are being regularly confused. As a professor I wouldn't spend a lot of time on a piece I found confusing.

Now, all that is nit picky as heII and I realize it. But, to be of any use a critique must be brutal.

Aside from my inability to be quite your work is VERY good.
Reread all sentences with and with the words "That" and "Which". If they are not necessary delete them. Check the rules for colon usage and follow them; if you are correct don't touch them but if I am correct then you know what to do. Look critically at all of your longer sentences and break them into two sentences where it is practical. Then turn that puppy in. Man if the rest of the paper looks like the introduction I do believe you have a winner.

Good luck on the assignment but with your management very little luck will be necessary.

GIMP
 
i would suggest to add 4-5 sentences in the first paragraph, supporting details that shows how these sickness and desperation have plagued humanity, and or how the fulfillment of their wishes...bla.bla.

hope it will help. gudluck.
 
i would suggest to add 4-5 sentences in the first paragraph, supporting details that shows how these sickness and desperation have plagued humanity, and or how the fulfillment of their wishes...bla.bla.

hope it will help. gudluck.
 
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