Is it unhealthy when you have a boyfriend-like relationship with somebody but...

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BlueberryHead1

New member
...they're not your boyfriend? 4 months ago I got out of a long relationship and was devastated, it's been taking me a while to get back to normal again.

I had a one night stand with a guy to try and make me feel better (if you have rude comments, go away because I'm not interested). Randomly bumped into him again a couple of weeks later, we agreed to be friends. Now we hook up from time to time. He also contacts me every day just to chat about random stuff. We've been to a few parties together and also hung out watching TV and cooking. He went through a break up as well so we spend a lot of time talking about our exes and how we feel now.

I also hooked up with another guy and he has also contacted me every day since, just to chat. Sends me good luck messages when he knows I have events on and stuff. We also hang out sometimes without hooking up and we watch TV, we lend each other CDs and stuff.

So basically I've got two very boyfriend-like relationships, except neither of them is actually a boyfriend relationship. And I'm not ready for a new one! If either of the guys asked me out I'd sadly have to say no. But seriously, they contact me all the time and remember what's going on in my life, even my ex never used to talk to me every day!

So on an unhealthy scale of 1 to 10 how unhealthy is this and how should I escape?
 
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lys22

New member
Idk if its unhealthy but im in the same boat with u
but for me some times i feel like ima lose my mind its unhealthy for me but every 1s different
 
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Unregistered

Guest
From a male perspective that doesn't seem unhealthy. I'd have to say you sound like you have made some very good friends, albeit the circumstances you met them may have not been how you had planned.

If you feel it is unhealthy, or feel guilty that is likely an indication that you feel you may be leading them on. Perhaps you should convey your feelings to both of these guys. My understanding is that you value their friendship and support, which is perfectly health and sociable, but if they feel differently and expect more without understanding your position, things may turn sour in time.
 
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mEchelonm

New member
It isn't "unhealthy" in my opinion. View them as "best friends" instead of "boyfriend-like-friends" if you get me, then you don't end up worrying much about what to say if one did ask you out. I'm in this sort of thing too. Two boys who are good friends with me and do the things you sorta do with your two friends but I see them as best friends and everything they do like hug me, hold my hand, compliment me, I view as a friendly thing, rather than an attempt to become more than friends. And I think they get the point, they just mess around and know that all the hugs and things aren't serious, I don't want it to be serious so I don't treat the things they do seriously. I take them as friendly advances and signs and act in a friendly way back.

If you don't want anything more than friendship, then don't encourage them and don't take everything nice they do to heart and just keep your heart a little way off, get to know them better, get over your break-up and start afresh again before jumping to a new relationship that could ruin your friendship with them.
 
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