I've been with a woman for about 1.5 years. Our connection is incredible, it's the communication and fights.
A typical disagreement is us trying to communicate, her assuming the worst, me trying to explain, her playing the victim and denying all responsibility, me finally leaving the house before I lose my cool.
Within 10 mins of me leaving she will send about 8-10 texts venting on how rude I am, or wrong etc, twisting everything around- very distorted. She will rant to her friends, her mom, even the occasional facebook post. Like she is looking for pity, and she will paint me in such a bad way.
I'm not perfect but I try my best to listen to her, to be a good guy to her. It just is never enough and I'm always to blame- there's no making her happy. I have been there for her time and time again, encouraging her, pushing her to get her dream job, believing in her- but when she isn't happy with something I said or didn't say she will say horrible things.
The flip side is that her and I do have incredible moments, a great friendship (when things are good), and a very deep love.
I just don't know what to do, as we gave counseling a shot -only 4 sessions, but we constantly break up. I'm also tired of hearing that I'm an abuser, a narcissist etc ect, which is actually what she is being but it seems that she is projecting everything on to me.
It feels like all hope is lost, apologies if this is all over the place, my mind is scattered, I love her very much, I just need to know why she won't relax, why she can't ever hear me out without making excuses, what I can do differently etc.
She is 40, I am 37- and I know how immature this sounds thanks for any answers
A typical disagreement is us trying to communicate, her assuming the worst, me trying to explain, her playing the victim and denying all responsibility, me finally leaving the house before I lose my cool.
Within 10 mins of me leaving she will send about 8-10 texts venting on how rude I am, or wrong etc, twisting everything around- very distorted. She will rant to her friends, her mom, even the occasional facebook post. Like she is looking for pity, and she will paint me in such a bad way.
I'm not perfect but I try my best to listen to her, to be a good guy to her. It just is never enough and I'm always to blame- there's no making her happy. I have been there for her time and time again, encouraging her, pushing her to get her dream job, believing in her- but when she isn't happy with something I said or didn't say she will say horrible things.
The flip side is that her and I do have incredible moments, a great friendship (when things are good), and a very deep love.
I just don't know what to do, as we gave counseling a shot -only 4 sessions, but we constantly break up. I'm also tired of hearing that I'm an abuser, a narcissist etc ect, which is actually what she is being but it seems that she is projecting everything on to me.
It feels like all hope is lost, apologies if this is all over the place, my mind is scattered, I love her very much, I just need to know why she won't relax, why she can't ever hear me out without making excuses, what I can do differently etc.
She is 40, I am 37- and I know how immature this sounds thanks for any answers