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<blockquote data-quote="AMMCC" data-source="post: 2628160" data-attributes="member: 890974">i write in my spare time and i came up with this intro for a story that does not yet have a title or anything; so plz tell me what you think <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile&nbsp; &nbsp; :)"&nbsp; data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /> and tell me what you think needs work or what is good/bad <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile&nbsp; &nbsp; :)"&nbsp; data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /> thankssss (btw im 13 so it might not be that good)-=-----------------------------------------------------------&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 1:39....1:40....1:41... The clock kept ticking on and on while Leah laid on her bed and stared at the ceiling. What else was there to do? Otherwise she&#039;d be laying in self pity either watching a love story or listening to love songs. Being as bored as a board seemed like the best thing to do.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; Thinking wasn&#039;t an option either. She&#039;d end up thinking about school or love or what she wished her life was like. In any case, she&#039;d end up crying. So, lying on the bed was all she could do...1:45....1:46....1:47....&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; She got up from the bed and decided to go on the computer. She looked at the time and numbly typed &quot;Facebook&quot; in the search bar with her stiff fingers. When she logged on the first thing she saw was &#039;Matt Larbust likes Duck Tape&#039;. Good to know. Whatever, she thought, and sat back down on her bed.&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; What do you think?? Comments? Anything i can improve?? what should the rest of the story be about?? ideas?? thankss byeee</blockquote>

[QUOTE="AMMCC, post: 2628160, member: 890974"] i write in my spare time and i came up with this intro for a story that does not yet have a title or anything; so plz tell me what you think :) and tell me what you think needs work or what is good/bad :) thankssss (btw im 13 so it might not be that good) -=----------------------------------------------------------- 1:39....1:40....1:41... The clock kept ticking on and on while Leah laid on her bed and stared at the ceiling. What else was there to do? Otherwise she'd be laying in self pity either watching a love story or listening to love songs. Being as bored as a board seemed like the best thing to do. Thinking wasn't an option either. She'd end up thinking about school or love or what she wished her life was like. In any case, she'd end up crying. So, lying on the bed was all she could do... 1:45....1:46....1:47.... She got up from the bed and decided to go on the computer. She looked at the time and numbly typed "Facebook" in the search bar with her stiff fingers. When she logged on the first thing she saw was 'Matt Larbust likes Duck Tape'. Good to know. Whatever, she thought, and sat back down on her bed. What do you think?? Comments? Anything i can improve?? what should the rest of the story be about?? ideas?? thankss byeee [/QUOTE]

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