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Is this a good Prolouge?
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<blockquote data-quote="trixie" data-source="post: 2702613" data-attributes="member: 222824"><p>Ok, I was wondering if this Prolouge is good? Btw the characters are foxes with human postures. I wanted to add biographies but not much space D: ok they lost there parents, kk </p><p></p><p>Ok here's the Prolouge </p><p></p><p> Pandora's Box Prologue - A Heavy Heart</p><p> </p><p>Tagger stood shaking on the crumbling cliff-side, hoodie soaked through, heavy with rain. But it was no match for the weight of betrayel which pulled his heart down into a dark abyss of sadness. How had it come to this? Why would she give in? Was he really worth so little to her? She'd told him, 'I'd never leave you like they did. Not ever. I love you Tagg, it's you and me.' Lies. Deceit. He found more feelings weighing in his heart. He realized he hated her with a passion, as well as the love that would always be there. Hope... Pandora's Box... The nightmare had to end. He could never go on without his sister. His twin. 'Hope...' He sniffed, as tears rolled down, warming his cool face. 'Goodbye... I hate you... You selfish-' But he couldn't finish. He never would. There was a flash of lightning, and a crack of thunder. The cliff fell from underneath Tagger's feet. He cried out it terror and tried to grab something, but nothing was there. He tumbled down towards the ravine below. 'HOPE!' He screamed. Tagger's memories flashed before him. Learning to walk... Buying his hoodie... Meeting Dini. He'd never get the chance to tell her how he felt... And finally. The betrayel. 'Come with me Hope...' The Demon purred. 'I'm sorry Tagg...' Hope turned. Sad at first, but her expression twisted into cruel smile as she let Pandora lead her away... There was a flash of blue. 'Tagger!' 'Hope...?' His eyes opened. There was nothing. He was gone. He was dead. And alone.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trixie, post: 2702613, member: 222824"] Ok, I was wondering if this Prolouge is good? Btw the characters are foxes with human postures. I wanted to add biographies but not much space D: ok they lost there parents, kk Ok here's the Prolouge Pandora's Box Prologue - A Heavy Heart Tagger stood shaking on the crumbling cliff-side, hoodie soaked through, heavy with rain. But it was no match for the weight of betrayel which pulled his heart down into a dark abyss of sadness. How had it come to this? Why would she give in? Was he really worth so little to her? She'd told him, 'I'd never leave you like they did. Not ever. I love you Tagg, it's you and me.' Lies. Deceit. He found more feelings weighing in his heart. He realized he hated her with a passion, as well as the love that would always be there. Hope... Pandora's Box... The nightmare had to end. He could never go on without his sister. His twin. 'Hope...' He sniffed, as tears rolled down, warming his cool face. 'Goodbye... I hate you... You selfish-' But he couldn't finish. He never would. There was a flash of lightning, and a crack of thunder. The cliff fell from underneath Tagger's feet. He cried out it terror and tried to grab something, but nothing was there. He tumbled down towards the ravine below. 'HOPE!' He screamed. Tagger's memories flashed before him. Learning to walk... Buying his hoodie... Meeting Dini. He'd never get the chance to tell her how he felt... And finally. The betrayel. 'Come with me Hope...' The Demon purred. 'I'm sorry Tagg...' Hope turned. Sad at first, but her expression twisted into cruel smile as she let Pandora lead her away... There was a flash of blue. 'Tagger!' 'Hope...?' His eyes opened. There was nothing. He was gone. He was dead. And alone. [/QUOTE]
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