beastabuelos
New member
my gf is 14 and a half. i am 16 and 3 months and we have a long distance relationship that has been going on for 5 and a half months. she is experiencing reoccurring depression. it will go away for periods of time but come back. usually it only goes away when we're talking or when shes with her friends but it comes up occasionally at those times as well. she hates herself passionately, thinks shes an absolutely horrid person and often thinks about death. she feels like everything is her fault and often feels sick and wants to throw up. sometimes her heart beat accelearates and cries for no reason. she also often feels hopeless as well. she used to be an avid cutter but has mostly stopped because of the affection i have shown her. but in mid october she almost left me for this other guy because she wanted a more physical relationship. i begged her and one night we had a very serious talk and she realized how very much i love her and decided not to leave me. but she didnt want to hurt this other guy and she wanted to feel close to someone physically so she let him kiss her and didnt want to hurt me so she kept it from me. ive known its been going on for a couple of months though, but i didnt say anything because i didnt want to make it any worse for her or anything and i understood that she was depressed and needed something. but last night it got to be too much so i said something. she cried for 3 hours on the phone with me and i told her it was ok and i wasnt mad at her, just him. i really wasnt. i love her so much id let her do that just to make her feel better. she told me she was so sorry and that what she did doesnt change how she feels about me and she still loves me so much. after that we fell asleep on the phone together. this morning when we woke up we talked for a while then went to go take showers. in the shower i lost my temper and when i got back i calmly explained my feelings to her. i was so angry at him that i wanted to physically beat something or inflict pain on myself. she told me she talked to him before she showered and that she told him that they couldnt do that anymore. i talked to him last night, though just through text messaging and told him to stop. he said ok and i told him to just be her friend because she needs that. she promised me that she wouldnt do anything with him anymore and i told her i cant trust her with him anymore and she said she'd do anything to prove it to me. i believe she wont but ill still be suspicous. after talking about this i felt better and she did too. she said that this was actually causing her problems. and then i said im actually a little glad that we had this experiance because it strengthened our relationship even more and shows how much we love each other. and i said it shows that we arent some other teen couple because if we were it would surely be over. we really arent your average teen couple. we have a more stable loving relationship than all of the adult married couples in our lives. it hurts to see her in pain with how much i love her and she doesnt want me in pain so it hurts both of us. we have asked our friends for help and are asking that you dont judge us and to just please help as best as you can. if you need any additonal info you can email me, but they must be specific questions.