confusedheart
New member
- Jul 7, 2010
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I used to date her for awhile. Things actually went very well and we were happy with things. However I guess one day, her best friend finally started to use guilt and twist her emotions because he felt hurt. It turned out he loved her for years and has felt abandoned by her after she started to date me. I understood that he was her friend and hoped that they would work things out. But it later just came down to the fact the man saw me as a rival and opponent instead of his best friends boyfriend.
Driven between us, she decided to just be friends with me. I didnt want that, but I loved her to let her make her own decisions and figured it was right to let her go if she wanted. A few weeks later and she came back to me and I thought I had won. However I guess he was still there on the sidelines whispering in her ears and tearing her heart out because he kept telling her she betrayed him. So finally she left again and during her time apart, he quickly ran into the scene and built a fence around himself and her, excluding people.
I have always been good friends with my Ex even months before we dated. I figured that no matter what, a good friend will always be your friend even if things turn bad. I tried to also still be friends with her best friend. After all, I thought that he must be a good guy if she started to date him. It turned out I was wrong. While I tried to be friends with him, he started to develop a fear of me. He kept fearing that I was going to win my Ex back.
He treated her bad when she saw or talked to me. He stopped hanging out with anyone and made her feel guilty when she left, which she would every once in awhile. And despite my good intentions and all the things Ive done to help this man, he hates me. He seems like he is being driven mad by fear and jealousy and is becoming controlling.
She went on vacation one day, and just by chance, I happened to run into her. I was being a good friend, but I noticed something. She started to act alot like when we used to date. There are just characteristics that you notice after being with someone. There was alot of flirting and touching. Eventually she leaned in to kiss me. Now I have to admit, that even though I let her go make her own choice, I still wanted her back. I had dated other women during our time apart, and in the end, I have never met anyone like her and have never connected with anyone like her.
After I left her to the rest of her vacation, her best friend found out and went berserk and really made her feel awful. Nearby friends of mine have viewed the relationship between them and it pretty much sounds like that she still loves me and that he has been trying to control her and make her love him. It sounds like he hates me and fears that I can win her back.
I do not know what to do. I must admit I would love to have her back. I can see that he is slowly crumbling underneath his projected fears and irrational hatred. I can see that she is pulling away from him. But this is what I do not know what to do?
I know he is very manipulative and can guilt her badly. Im afraid that he will continue to keep doing this to keep her with him. I dont know if I should stop this before he tries to win her back and perhaps one day succeeds in building a wall around the world, or if I should let him go insane and see if she leaves him finally.
I am not doing this out of wanting her back, but as her friend. I know that our friendship is strong enough that we may still keep in contact with eachother. But I also have seen that his guilt is strong enough to pull her away if for awhile.
Should I try to stop this abuse or let it keep going on until she finally leaves.
Driven between us, she decided to just be friends with me. I didnt want that, but I loved her to let her make her own decisions and figured it was right to let her go if she wanted. A few weeks later and she came back to me and I thought I had won. However I guess he was still there on the sidelines whispering in her ears and tearing her heart out because he kept telling her she betrayed him. So finally she left again and during her time apart, he quickly ran into the scene and built a fence around himself and her, excluding people.
I have always been good friends with my Ex even months before we dated. I figured that no matter what, a good friend will always be your friend even if things turn bad. I tried to also still be friends with her best friend. After all, I thought that he must be a good guy if she started to date him. It turned out I was wrong. While I tried to be friends with him, he started to develop a fear of me. He kept fearing that I was going to win my Ex back.
He treated her bad when she saw or talked to me. He stopped hanging out with anyone and made her feel guilty when she left, which she would every once in awhile. And despite my good intentions and all the things Ive done to help this man, he hates me. He seems like he is being driven mad by fear and jealousy and is becoming controlling.
She went on vacation one day, and just by chance, I happened to run into her. I was being a good friend, but I noticed something. She started to act alot like when we used to date. There are just characteristics that you notice after being with someone. There was alot of flirting and touching. Eventually she leaned in to kiss me. Now I have to admit, that even though I let her go make her own choice, I still wanted her back. I had dated other women during our time apart, and in the end, I have never met anyone like her and have never connected with anyone like her.
After I left her to the rest of her vacation, her best friend found out and went berserk and really made her feel awful. Nearby friends of mine have viewed the relationship between them and it pretty much sounds like that she still loves me and that he has been trying to control her and make her love him. It sounds like he hates me and fears that I can win her back.
I do not know what to do. I must admit I would love to have her back. I can see that he is slowly crumbling underneath his projected fears and irrational hatred. I can see that she is pulling away from him. But this is what I do not know what to do?
I know he is very manipulative and can guilt her badly. Im afraid that he will continue to keep doing this to keep her with him. I dont know if I should stop this before he tries to win her back and perhaps one day succeeds in building a wall around the world, or if I should let him go insane and see if she leaves him finally.
I am not doing this out of wanting her back, but as her friend. I know that our friendship is strong enough that we may still keep in contact with eachother. But I also have seen that his guilt is strong enough to pull her away if for awhile.
Should I try to stop this abuse or let it keep going on until she finally leaves.