I know this is long…if anyone can give me any kind of help it would mean the world to me. Be brutal if you have to; I deserve it 
I am 25 years old and have been with this man for 6 years. We lived together for about the last 3 years. We were much like a married couple but never got officially married because I felt we didn’t need government papers to make us “legit.” He is the only person I have ever had sex with and did not lose my virginity until I was 21. He has cheated on me 4 times (that I know of). He ran off with some woman last August and came back a couple of weeks later begging for me to take him back. I’m a moron; I thought we could work things out. Of course, he started cheating on me again about a month ago with a different woman. What he and this woman have in common is that they both do heroin. His drug addictions have been difficult for me because I don’t even believe in drinking alcohol or smoking cigarettes and have never done any drugs in my life. BUT I have tried to be there for him in his time of need and be open-minded and non-judgmental. I found out tonight that him and this girl have had sex. He has been staying at his Mom’s house since I did not want him staying with me anymore at my house and I guess that’s where they have sex.
Everyone tells me I’m a moron for ever dating him in the first place. I have a bachelor’s degree from my state university and graduated summa cum laude (top 1% of my graduating class) with a degree in business; I am now working towards an MBA. He barely graduated high school and has no plans to ever go to college. He works construction (framing) but has been collecting unemployment the last four months because he injured his arm. I never cared that he wasn’t educated because I saw him as a sweet, caring, good person and I am a non-judgmental person (to my own detriment). Lately, he goes a couple of days at a time without talking to me and then all at once he’ll text me and call me saying he misses me and loves me and misses his old life. He’ll cry and tell me how badly he wants to quit heroin and says he has no feelings for this other girl and only hangs out with her because it’s easy access to heroin. I know I am a moron for taking him back over and over again but I’m not stupid enough to believe him when he says he’s just using her for heroin… It’s obvious he has feelings for this girl or else he wouldn’t be hanging out with her every day. I refuse to say “I love you” back to him now and have been ignoring all of his texts and calls. He says he loves me and wants me more than anything. I tell him, “Show me; don’t tell me.” He has my name and the word “eternity” tattooed on his arms. What a load of bullcrap. Ugh.
It hurts because this girl benefits from everything I did to help him…I helped him finally get his driver’s license, I bought him his first car, I helped him manage his money and helped him go from having no credit at all to having a credit score of 720 (he is extremely horrible with money and I managed all his finances..everything was always paid in full every month (Never the minimum payment) even if it meant I had to use my own money to make sure it was paid). I helped him get his good construction job making $16 an hour. He spends all his unemployment money on this girl and drives her around in the car I bought him. I know that’s his choice and none of my business…but it hurts. When he cheated on me last August, he bought the girl (that he had known for one week) a $100 promise ring…in six years he only bought me an $8 ring from Wal-mart because I insisted he never spend more than 10 dollars on a ring for me because I’m not materialistic and don’t care about things like that. But now I’m kicking myself for that…by trying to do the right thing, be open-minded, be non-materialistic, be non-judgmental…all I got was treated like a doormat.
How could I be so stupid? What the heck is wrong with me? What do I do now? It’s ok if you have to be brutal; it’s probably just what I need I can’t believe I let this all happen. Six years of my life completely wasted with a person I absolutely hate. What makes it worse is that he keeps talking crap about me to the girls he cheats on me with and to all of his friends. He makes things up about me, says I’m a slut (when he is the only person I have ever been intimate with in any way) and makes fun of me for a physical disability that I have. He slanders my name in any way he can. I’m sure he tells these other girls the same things he says to me about them: “Oh, I don’t care about that B&%#!. I only have feelings for you.” Otherwise, why would they be so attached to him. Ugh.
Please give me any advice you can. I just need to hear someone else’s opinion, no matter how brutal
I am 25 years old and have been with this man for 6 years. We lived together for about the last 3 years. We were much like a married couple but never got officially married because I felt we didn’t need government papers to make us “legit.” He is the only person I have ever had sex with and did not lose my virginity until I was 21. He has cheated on me 4 times (that I know of). He ran off with some woman last August and came back a couple of weeks later begging for me to take him back. I’m a moron; I thought we could work things out. Of course, he started cheating on me again about a month ago with a different woman. What he and this woman have in common is that they both do heroin. His drug addictions have been difficult for me because I don’t even believe in drinking alcohol or smoking cigarettes and have never done any drugs in my life. BUT I have tried to be there for him in his time of need and be open-minded and non-judgmental. I found out tonight that him and this girl have had sex. He has been staying at his Mom’s house since I did not want him staying with me anymore at my house and I guess that’s where they have sex.
Everyone tells me I’m a moron for ever dating him in the first place. I have a bachelor’s degree from my state university and graduated summa cum laude (top 1% of my graduating class) with a degree in business; I am now working towards an MBA. He barely graduated high school and has no plans to ever go to college. He works construction (framing) but has been collecting unemployment the last four months because he injured his arm. I never cared that he wasn’t educated because I saw him as a sweet, caring, good person and I am a non-judgmental person (to my own detriment). Lately, he goes a couple of days at a time without talking to me and then all at once he’ll text me and call me saying he misses me and loves me and misses his old life. He’ll cry and tell me how badly he wants to quit heroin and says he has no feelings for this other girl and only hangs out with her because it’s easy access to heroin. I know I am a moron for taking him back over and over again but I’m not stupid enough to believe him when he says he’s just using her for heroin… It’s obvious he has feelings for this girl or else he wouldn’t be hanging out with her every day. I refuse to say “I love you” back to him now and have been ignoring all of his texts and calls. He says he loves me and wants me more than anything. I tell him, “Show me; don’t tell me.” He has my name and the word “eternity” tattooed on his arms. What a load of bullcrap. Ugh.
It hurts because this girl benefits from everything I did to help him…I helped him finally get his driver’s license, I bought him his first car, I helped him manage his money and helped him go from having no credit at all to having a credit score of 720 (he is extremely horrible with money and I managed all his finances..everything was always paid in full every month (Never the minimum payment) even if it meant I had to use my own money to make sure it was paid). I helped him get his good construction job making $16 an hour. He spends all his unemployment money on this girl and drives her around in the car I bought him. I know that’s his choice and none of my business…but it hurts. When he cheated on me last August, he bought the girl (that he had known for one week) a $100 promise ring…in six years he only bought me an $8 ring from Wal-mart because I insisted he never spend more than 10 dollars on a ring for me because I’m not materialistic and don’t care about things like that. But now I’m kicking myself for that…by trying to do the right thing, be open-minded, be non-materialistic, be non-judgmental…all I got was treated like a doormat.
How could I be so stupid? What the heck is wrong with me? What do I do now? It’s ok if you have to be brutal; it’s probably just what I need
I can’t believe I let this all happen. Six years of my life completely wasted with a person I absolutely hate. What makes it worse is that he keeps talking crap about me to the girls he cheats on me with and to all of his friends. He makes things up about me, says I’m a slut (when he is the only person I have ever been intimate with in any way) and makes fun of me for a physical disability that I have. He slanders my name in any way he can. I’m sure he tells these other girls the same things he says to me about them: “Oh, I don’t care about that B&%#!. I only have feelings for you.” Otherwise, why would they be so attached to him. Ugh. Please give me any advice you can. I just need to hear someone else’s opinion, no matter how brutal