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Wow sounds like you need to talk to him on how to talk to someone who he loves. I would never think a man would can his wife those names. That would be a hugh deal to me depression or not. Saying " rotate it 90 degrees and invert it" is normal speech to me. I do nothing that would require tools for fixing anything and just make that your rules with him. I know it has to be hard to help a blind person because mentally they want to do things and can't see it. BUT I would make him wait until a guy friend comes to help. Tell him your done helping him fix things because of how he talks to you and that be the end of it. Then there won't be the dumb fights. Walk away if he starts to put you down. It's not like he can see you leave anyway. Just tell him if he then notices you left, that you are not to talk to me and I'm going to walk away everytime you act this way.