Okay for an admissions essay would this catch your interest?

J

Jenny

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When i was 9 years old i almost died,and ever since i have never thought of life the same.
It is supposed to be an essay about something in your life that changed your way of thinking or a meaningful change in your life,but would that capture your interest or should i try another saying another way,what?
Im only 13 it wasnt that long ago
 
because it happened when you were so young, make sure that you emphasize in the essay how you still reflect on the experience now that you are older and wiser.
 
It would catch my attention because as it has only been two years since it happened and it would still be quite fresh in your mind. I think you are good at coming up with the opening as it does catch people attention. Have you ever thought of writing books. I think you would be good at keeping the readers attention. Okay I have only read a sentence of what you have written, but it is fantastic.

I hope you do well in the essay. Well I know you will and I don't even know you. Good luck
 
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