Pda and fiance'????????

C

carmen

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So, my fiance' is a liittle weird about pda...it really depends on his mood and who were around but for example, last night we were in a limo with like 15 people and most of them couples and all the couples were cuddling or at least the man had his arm around the chick and me? I get nuthin"....oh and then we get to our destination at a lounge and still..he's kinda in his own world and even walked ahead of me at one point. Yah, and I have no problems grabbing him and putting my arms around him..and I do...all the time, but usually I try it then I stop if there's no reciprocation, cuz then it just looks one-sided and I look silly. Later on in the evening, on the street he grabbed me and held me and said he's sorry if he was distant...he had a lot on his mind cuz I guess our friends were causing trouble....which I didn't even pay any mind to. So yah, he's not like this at home at all...or around family. He's usually always affectionate and stuff...but I get sad when we go out with friends and he doesn't do that anymore. We had pre-marital counseling and the subject of "are u happy with your displays of affection towards ur future wife" he said no...that he often holds back and it bothers him and he doesn't know why. The counselor didn't delve in much, she just told us to talk about what we each of us needs to feel loved. I'm gonna talk to him today...any advice on how to approach the subject in a non- confrontational way?
 
Just ask him the next time he pulls away "are you uncomfortable when I do that in public?" If he says yes, respect it. Some people just don't believe it's appropriate to have their hands all over each other in public, I'm one of them. Holding hands or a brief kiss is fine but if I wanted to see that I'd rent a porno.
 
Some people aren't used to doing this because they didn't see it done by their parents of others when they were growing up. It's something that people can grow to love though. When my father was posted in South America he noticed that people there were very comfortable with their public affection for others. He liked what he saw and chose to add it to his life.

Hopefully your finance just needs to get used to it and will make it part of what he does. In the meantime, keep reaching for his hand. It'll help him become more comfortable with the idea.
 
An awesome secret to a successful marriage is to accept your spouse as they are rather than asking them to change.
It doesn't really sound like it's all that big an issue so why don't you save your ' change orders ' for more significant issues ?
 
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