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Message: <blockquote data-quote="O&#039;sgirlmsJoshHamilton" data-source="post: 2293334" data-attributes="member: 799970">...criticism is more useful--->? This is just a supplementary little side story I came up with so I could try to understand my characters a little better. It's not supposed to have a plot really, it's just mainly dialogue. If it's a little wordy, I wasn't writing for others' eyes, it was mainly for my benefit. I'd just like to know what you think, so when I work on the main story, I can apply your critique.TiredBastian looked at me with tired eyes.  “Alex, I can’t do this anymore. What we can do, well, it’s so little. I’m tired of being the privileged Prince. I’m tired of having more food and clothing than I know what to do with, when I’ve spent time in the Lesser City’s slums. I’m tired of being in charge. I’m tired of having to make decisions, Alex. What am I supposed to do when a man is brought to me on Trial Day for theft of food for his four year old daughter and pregnant wife? And yet the storekeeper he stole the food from is just as impoverished as he is. He needs the coin for his own family. “Alex, I had to judge him today. I had to fine the man who stole, when I wish I could have given him all the food in the kitchens, and given the storekeeper enough coin to keep his store going for another year. I feel like I’m not doing enough. I’m just so tired.”As usual, we were in my room. I was at my desk by the window, copying out maps.When Bastian had come in wearily and collapsed onto my bed, I had thought that maybe the late nights and long days were starting to catch up to him. Now I began to think that the irregular hours were the least of Bastian’s troubles.I set aside the map and looked at him, really looked at him.To my blind eye, he looked thinner than he used to. Good looking, of course. He always had been. But sharper around the cheekbones, bags under his eyes. His blue eyes were as stunning as they ever were, of course, but now they held a weariness and sadness they had never held before. And just his posture as he sat up communicated a bone-deep tiredness of the body and soul.I hadn’t noticed before, and I was ashamed. In my defense, Bastian was a very good actor. Around others, he appeared as fearless and capable as always. Alone with me now, though, he had let down his guard. And I could have kicked myself for not seeing already how worn out he was.That was just the physical aspect of it. With my Sight, I examined him. His aura, which was normally a soft glow of calming colors- blue, green, purple- was jagged. Flashes of energy spiked about his figure.I was alarmed. Bastian was at his breaking point, and I, his cousin, his oldest friend, his confidante in all things, hadn’t seen it.“Oh, Bastian,” I whispered. “I’m so sorry.”He glanced at me, surprised. “What are you sorry about? I’m the one who should be apologizing to you, griping about my life when I know I’m so well off.” He gave me a small smile.I could have cried. I left my desk and went to sit beside him on my bed as we had done as children.“Bastian, don’t you know that even you deserve a break? Your job is far from easy, and you need a rest.”He began to protest.I shook my head. “Damn it, Bastian. You’re the only hope our kingdom has. You can’t drive yourself into the ground like this. Mat and I, we have our talents. Aster has his.  You, now you. You’re the leader. People will follow you wherever you go. I would. So won’t you please understand that you’re the kindest, most just Prince anyone could wish for? You may feel like you don’t do enough, but you do all you can. It’s all we can do, Bast.”He closed his eyes. “You flatter me.”“I don’t,” I snapped. “I mean every word I say.”I softened my tone as I continued, “Besides, don’t you know we’re in this together? Anytime it gets too much for you, you know that I’m here, and so is Mat. And Aster is only a ride away.”He nodded. “I know. But- I’m still tired.”</blockquote>

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